Random things I am reasonably sure I think

No wonder my life isn't all ducks and roses. I didn't stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

I drove by a Motel 6 the other day. None of the lights were on.

Supposedly I can have my Whopper my way. Can I get it without all the unhealthy transfats but still with all the cheesy goodness that comes with a good, sloppy, grease-ridden burger?

I know adults who can recite the Big Mac song backwards and forwards but can't say the Pledge of Allegiance, the Preamble to the Constitution, don't know the 10 commandments and truly believe the words "separation of church and state" appear in the Constitution somewhere.

Anyone remember the little rubber martian toys that were in the McDonald's Happy Meals about 30 years ago? They were green, blue, yellow... Maybe a red one in there... I don't know, but they were so cool!

Weebles wobble but they don't fall down. This is true. Weebles are egg shaped. Weebles sit on thier butts and don't fall down. Eggs invariably fall on their side. I'm confused.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. But neither bird in the bush will bite you unless you stick your hand in there to try to grab one.

A penny saved is a penny earned. What the hell can you buy for a penny?

The army used to have a saying "Be all that you can be." Now it's "An army of one." I think they changed it the first time they took a look at some soldier being all he could be and they thought "that's it?"

In writing, we have a saying when talking about the best way to write a story. "Show don't tell." Imagine having that in grade school. I picture some nine year old standing perfectly silent holding a pet rock for five minutes before returning to his seat, much to the confused delight of his fellow classmates.

Early to bed, early to rise means the laundry gets piled up, the dishes don't get washed, the cat litter doesn't get scooped, the dog doesn't get walked, the child's homework doesn't get completed, bills don't get paid, but I'm well-rested when I have to return to the monotony of my deadend 9 to 5 job.

A few years ago, I realized the strangest thing. If I wait long enough without eating, hunger pangs go away on their own. Weird. I wonder how long you'd have to wait before they'd come back.

It takes pluto approximately 240 Earth years to travel around the sun. It's pretty far away. Sound travels quite a bit slower than light. So I wonder how long it's going to take Plutonians to discover they've lost their status as the ninth planet. I'm guessing they have an abundance of PLUTONIUM up there on PLUTO. What if they nuke us in anger? Ah, I guess it won't matter. I'll be dead and my great great great great great great grandchildren will have to figure out why some odd nuclear object is on a collision course with earth, bearing a plutonian inscription that says "Oh yeah!? Bite me, Earth Scum!" on it. (one of my fellow writer friends is going to write that story now!)

Pluto is cold. Could they even get a rocket to launch? Wait. Cold Fusion. Crap! Little Eddie the ninth is gonna die, man!

This little exercise has made me laugh. I don't know about you, but I've enjoyed it.

W, E and H thank you for your participation, as does the number 2.