Saturday, April 28, 2007

Thanks and everything

Hi everybody-

I just wanted to make sure I thanked everyone once again for all the continued prayers for my grandmother, mother and all my family during this time.

Grandma continues to have some difficulty with her general cognition. The lights appear to be on, but the times when no one is home seem to be more and more frequent, I'm sad to say. I love her to death, but I do see this as a very bad sign from a woman who has always been a powerful force in the world. Suddenly a woman well known for her strength seems stubbornly unable to admit the weakness overtaking her on so many levels.

It has to be horribly tough on her. She's been the rock that this family leaned on for probably more years than I've been alive. Now to see her mind slowly fading away.... well, it's not something I find easy to watch.

I've always felt so inadequate up against the tremendous faith and strength and courage she has possessed. But it is impossible to express the feeling of helplessness inside me as I observe her slide into inevitable senility.

Is it Alzheimers or dementia? I can't say that with any certainty of course. I'm not a doctor. I hold no degree in neurology or what have you. What I do know is that the grandma I knew 20 or 25 years ago is all but gone. Now there are mere glimmers. Occasional visits from the sharp mind and deep philosophical faith that so powerfully defined her character.

I do not know what will happen. Well, that's not true. She turns 85 on May 9th. I know what's coming eventually. But it's the between time that scares me. It's also the word "eventually" that scares me. Eventually could be 3 minutes after I post this blog or 10 years from now. Eventually could be some indetermanent time frame long after science discovers a way to make people live well into their triple digit years. But then again, as scary as that unknown is, I know one thing with absolute certainty. Not knowing is, indeed 1000 times better than if God were to curse me with the knowledge of the exact moment he had chosen to call my grandmother home.

I might have inherited some of her strength, but I know without a doubt that burdon is one I could not bear.

God bless everyone who continues to pray for this wonderful saint of a woman. You can't ever know exactly how much your prayers mean to me.

Till next time, this blog is brought to you by the letters W, E and H and by the number 2.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Prayer Is Not An Option!

On September 20, 2001, President Bush gave a speech announcing his intention to carry on a "War on Terror" begun by mindless followers brainwised by the sadistic rantings of Usama bin Laden. What follows is an exerpt from that speech:

We have seen the state of our Union in the endurance of rescuers working past exhaustion.

We've seen the unfurling of flags, the lighting of candles, the giving of blood, the saying of prayers in English, Hebrew and Arabic.

We have seen the decency of a loving and giving people who have made the grief of strangers their own.

My fellow citizens, for the last nine days, the entire world has seen for itself the state of union, and it is strong.

Tonight, we are a country awakened to danger and called to defend freedom. Our grief has turned to anger and anger to resolution. Whether we bring our enemies to justice or bring justice to our enemies, justice will be done.

I thank the Congress for its leadership at such an important time.

All of America was touched on the evening of the tragedy to see Republicans and Democrats joined together on the steps of this Capitol singing "God Bless America."
---
I have to admit I searched the internet high and low for a picture of Dennis Hastert leading the members of Congress in this unprecidented event. Though it was more than 5 years ago, I remember it as if it were yesterday. As the president said, Democrat and Republican alike joined hands -- metaphorically and literally speaking -- in the prayer and acknowledgement of a Supreme Being. Did they express that it was a Christian God they were acknowledging? No. Did they pray "we love you, oh Christian God in Heaven"? No. But the manner in which the ceremony was conducted was nonetheless Judeo-Christian in its roots. It was a ceremony conducted without fear. And it was a ceremony echoed on courthouse steps, in schools, in private homes, corporations and churches all across the country. For once, we were united. As the words of the Pledge of Allegiance says, for once we were "...One Nation Under God..."

Later, in this same speech, Bush said the following:

And on behalf of the American people, I thank the world for its outpouring of support.

America will never forget the sounds of our national anthem playing at Buckingham Palace, on the streets of Paris and at Berlin's Brandenburg Gate.
We will not forget South Korean children gathering to pray outside our embassy in Seoul, or the prayers of sympathy offered at a mosque in Cairo.
We will not forget moments of silence and days of mourning in Australia and Africa and Latin America.

Nor will we forget the citizens of 80 other nations who died with our own. Dozens of Pakistanis, more than 130 Israelis, more than 250 citizens of India, men and women from El Salvador, Iran, Mexico and Japan, and hundreds of British citizens.

----
Here's the problem. Bush talked about all the things we would not forget. We would not forget our national anthem being played in tributes across the globe. We would not lose sight of the more than 80 nations who lost citizens on that horrific day. We would not let fade the memories of universal unity and the agreement that this evil must be defeated. We would not forget and we would not waver in our resolve...

And then we blinked.

As the smoke cleared and the cries of our nations' dead faded into distant memory, the nation as a whole, lost sight of reality. We let go of the helpless, frightened, confused feelings we all shared as we watched the Twin Towers fall, the Pentagon smoulder and glued ourselves to news stories of a downed plane in a Pennsylvania field.

Our minds forgot the images released later that year of bin Laden and several associates laughing in amazement, commenting that they had calculated only the first few floors of the buildings would fall, leaving the rest intact. How gleefully they celebrated at what they must have considered a "heavenly" stroke of luck.

Over time, we even forgot how we turned to God in this time of great human frailty. As the smoke cleared and the wounds began to heal, suddenly we did what we always do as a human race. We turned our back to God and relied on our own strengths, our own will power, our own perceptions and, most sad of all, our own blind self-assurance that God had taken care of us so we didn't need him any more. There wasn't any tragedy, so God could go back to playing with his toys in the corner or whatever. He could go back to tinkering with the stars or creating a new species of animal or making a way for the White Sox to win the championship. You know, all that pointless stuff that God does.

2003 saw the Columbia space shuttle disaster that took the lives of seven valiant and courageous heroes. On that day, the nation again bowed its head in prayer, fervently beseeching a Supreme Creator for peace and comfort in the time of great sorrow.

In 2004, when terrorists attacked a train in Madrid, Spain, even Americans again turned to a God they had ignored for months after the fire had died from the Columbia tragedy.

2005's London subway attacks again brought the God seekers out in droves. More recently -- October of 2006 to be exact -- when an Amish school was shot up by a crazed member of their own community, God again was asked to comfort us in our time of grief and confusion.

Since the horrible events of April 16, 2007, I've seen and heard politicians, celebrities and newscasters on every channel offering their prayers, thoughts and well-wishes. I can't even count the number of times I've heard someone say "I'm praying for you" or "We will have you in our prayers." And you know what? It's a sweet thought. But it's also a sickening thought. Why? Because the words are empty. I would love to know how many prayers Simon Cowell actually said for the victims and families of Virginia Tech. How many times has Ryan Seacrest actually bent a knee and closed his eyes, asking his Creator to give comfort to those families? How many prayers have Keith Olberman, Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama actually offered up in the name of the violence that occured? How many of them actually grieve for these 33 people with whom they had no connection? How many of them truly give thought to the many people still hospitalized from wounds suffered on that horrid day?

How many still pray for the victims of Columbine, the anniversary of which is tomorrow. When was the last time any of them actually gave thought to the survivors (or the victimes) of the Branch Davidian stand-off in Waco, Texas? (The anniversary of which is today!) When was the last time Paris Hilton or some other celebrity actually got down on their knees for something meaningful? (Which is to say, not a sex act!)

Are we supposed to spend the rest of our lives in mourning for these people? No, of course not. I know that's where this way of thinking was leading you, but that's not my message. The point I am trying to make is that people are so empty anymore. No one really cares. You offer up your empty promises of prayer and consider your good deed done for the day. What I'd like to know is how many of you actually make good on your promise to pray?

I honestly can't count the number of comforting e-mails I've gotten in the past few days, as I have posted message after message about my grandmother's recent health struggles. To read these promises of prayer and well wishes for myself and my family has been extraordinarily comforting. By and large, I've been reasonably sure that those of you who have said you're going to pray have, in fact, prayed. If you're like me -- and many of you are -- chances are many of you prayed even as you were e-mailing me your comforting words of affection.

A couple of times, however, I will admit I wondered if this or that person was actually praying. In the long run, I don't think it's as important as who actually IS praying, but I admit I have had my doubts a few times. Especially in the wake of the events of April 16th, 2007. So many empty words. So many politicians encouraging people to pray. Six months from now, these are the same people who will be saying they agree with the ACLU that Christianity is evil but to eliminate Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism or Atheism for that matter is infringing on the free speech of these citizens. Six months from now, when the wounds of April 16th have healed, Americans will do what it always does when they feel like they no longer need God. They'll tell him to run along and go play.

"Just stay over there, God, so that we know where to find you the next time a plane hits our buildings or some wack job foreigner decides he wants to shoot up the school because nobody wants to play with him or when some other idiot decides he's Jesus Christ incarnate and wants to walk 800 people to their deaths... Don't call us, God. We'll call you."

People, it's time to wake up. God doesn't work that way. God is not Santa Claus watching to see if you've been good or bad, checking the naughty list twice and waiting for you to pray for that new pair of jeans you want.

God is not a Deity of convenience. Either you're willing to worship him in the good times or you're not. But if you're not, don't bother turning to him in times of trouble, you stinking hypocrite! I don't know about God, but I don't want to hear it. God's not good enough for you to worship in times of Joy, but he's good enough for you to call upon when you finally realize how powerless you are to truly effect real change in the world?

It's time to decide if the 80 percent of you who claim to be Christian really are what you say you are. It's time to put up or shut up in this world. I truly do sympathize with the events on the Virginia Tech campus and when I say I do pray -- and have prayed -- for the victims and their families, I mean it. I have prayed many times in the past few days. I continue to do so even as I am writing this blog. For those of you out there offering your pitiful meaningless well-wishes and empty, unfulfilled promises of prayer, I say SHAME ON YOU! How dare you offer up a false sense of security. Again, the speech President Bush made on September 20, 2001 rings in my mind.

We're not deceived by their pretenses to piety.

Americans are asking, "How will we fight and win this war?" We will direct every resource at our command -- every means of diplomacy, every tool of intelligence, every instrument of law enforcement, every financial influence and every necessary weapon of war -- to the destruction and to the defeat of the global terror network.

This is the world's fight. This is civilization's fight. This is the fight of all who believe in progress and pluralism, tolerance and freedom.

We ask every nation to join us.

We will ask and we will need the help of police forces, intelligence services and banking systems around the world. The United States is grateful that many nations and many international organizations have already responded with sympathy and with support -- nations from Latin America, to Asia, to Africa, to Europe, to the Islamic world.

Perhaps the NATO charter reflects best the attitude of the world: An attack on one is an attack on all. The civilized world is rallying to America's side.

They understand that if this terror goes unpunished, their own cities, their own citizens may be next. Terror unanswered cannot only bring down buildings, it can threaten the stability of legitimate governments.

And you know what? We're not going to allow it.

Americans are asking, "What is expected of us?"

I ask you to live your lives and hug your children.
---
Today, I echo President Bush's words. What can you do to stop this tragedy from occuring? Several things. But above all, live your life and hug your children. Hug your children. That's easy to define. But what does it mean to live your life? It means keeping your eyes on God, plain and simple. It means loving Him through the good times as much as you rely on Him during hard times.

As long as the United States of America is determined and strong, this will not be an age of terror. This will be an age of liberty here and across the world.
Great harm has been done to us. We have suffered great loss. And in our grief and anger, we have found our mission and our moment.

Freedom and fear are at war. The advance of human freedom, the great achievement of our time and the great hope of every time, now depends on us....Even grief recedes with time and grace.

In all that lies before us, may God grant us wisdom, and may he watch over the United States of America.
----
Until next time, may God watch over the blog brought to you by the letters W, E and H and by the number 2.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

My Take on Don Imus

Before I am lumped in with Don Imus as a racist, simply because of the color of my skin or the outspoken nature of my blogs, let me say one thing from the beginning. His comments about the Rutgers female basketball players was deplorable. It was stupid, beyond ignorant and a horrifying lapse in judgement. Having said that, has Don Imus ever really had that sound of judgement? Furthermore, has he said anything any less offensive than some of the things fellow SHOCK JOCK, Howard Stern does or says on his show? Granted, Stern hasn't made any blatantly-racial remarks such as the ones Don Imus made on his show, but he's offended 100 people for every 1 Don Imus has offended with this sick perversion.

Now, I'm going to make one thing perfectly clear. I am not excusing what Don Imus did. I am not saying it is acceptable. I am not saying he was right or justified in any way. What I am saying is that two wrongs don't make a right. Taking away this man's livelihood will not undo what was done. These supposed perveyors of forgiveness like Jesse Jackson and The Reverend Al Sharpton are screaming so loudly for Imus' resignation (or firing) that they can't even see past their own blind rage.

I understand you are hurt. I understand you are offended. I might not understand the nature of that hurt. I might not understand the nature of that offense, but I understand the FACT that you are hurt and offended. But does that mean you need to hurt Don Imus? What will that prove, except that you're cut from the same racist mold from which his comments sprang. (I do not believe Don Imus is a racist. His comments, yes, but not him as a person.) You're going to prove that you can be just as anti-white with your actions as Don Imus was anti-black with his comments. Is that what you're after, Rev. Sharpton? Are you out to prove you can stoop to that level of hatred? Or are you out to prove you can rise above it? Because I don't see any rising above. I see you bending knee. I see you bowing to the hatred that was inadvertently spewed in Don Imus' comments. I see you letting it bring you down from the heights to which God can lift you if you will let him.

Jesus said "Love your enemies and pray for him who persecutes you..." How many times have you prayed for Don Imus, Rev. Sharpton?

I make no excuses for Don Imus. I do not support or condone what he said on his radio show. However, I do believe that vengeance belongs to God alone and it is up to Him to decide what punishment needs to be given to Mr. Imus. I don't understand why the true purveyors of hatred, isolation, bigotry, racism, sexism and ignorance (such as Rev. Sharpton and Rosie O'Donnell) think they have the right to spew their poison on the air but others don't have a right to voice his or her opinion.

The Rutgers team has every right to be offended. I'm a white guy who doesn't play basketball anywhere and I'm offended. But I don't have a right to call for Don Imus' resignation and neither does Al Sharpton. Where's the outrage when Rosie O'Donnell "outs" Clay Aiken unexpectedly? Where's the outrage when Al Sharpton insults white people by saying that blacks were the first slaves in this country (when in fact whites were the first slaves brought to this country.) Where's the outrage when these idiots stand up and speak their idiotic rantings or try to spread their pointless garbage?

This outrage is too one-sided and that is a problem.

Like I said, two wrongs don't make a right. I understand you're hurt, but hurting him will only HURT IMUS. It won't HEAL anything. So, really, what good is it?

These thoughts have been summarized for your protection.

Till next time this blog is brought to you by the letters W, E and H and by the number 2

Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Lucky You!

In his recent blog Nathan Bransford -- Agent for Curtis Brown -- spoke about a concept that's very near and dear to my heart, the dreaded "speed rejection."

In it, Mr. Bransford discussed the reasons why agents will often send a rejection to a query letter in (say) five minutes. As a person who has experienced this phenomena more than once, I have to say I've thought long and hard about it. Prior to reading Nathan's blog, I must say I pictured some stuffy suit-clad business type, with his salt-and-peppered widow's peak and leathery skin. I envisioned this imaginary villain laughing hysterically as he read each query with disdain, responding to each with a typical one liner "not for me, thanks!" before going on to the next poor, innocent, aspiring writer.

Having read his blog, I came to understand that he's a busy man, plain and simple. He doesn't want to disrespect anyone, but he also doesn't want to blow smoke up your butt or waste your time. ("your", of course, referring to my fellow aspiring writer.)

Still, I must admit I'm an enigma. I'm an anomoly in the writing world. I'm different. I'm Random Man, but I'm also marching to the beat of my own drummer. Keeping that in mind, it should come as no surprise that I decided to pose a question to Mr. Nathan Bransford. As I'm known for my offbeat sense of humor, I'm quite sure he didn't know what to make of my question, but I have to recognize the candor and professionalism with which he answered the question that I seriously wanted answered.

Quite simply, I asked him had he ever speed rejected a query only to re-think his decision later on. Perhaps he would be driving home at the end of a long day and thought "Well, I don't know. That does sound appealing." or whatever.

In short, he wrote that he'd never experienced that. He doesn't second guess himself. He goes with his gut, which is the way he has learned to do his job. His first instincts, like most agents, are always right.. (I'm sure the 8 publishers that rejected Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone aren't second guessing themselves either. Kicking themselves, maybe; But hardly second guessing themselves. There's a confidence on that side of this business that forbids such a sin.)
Let me pause for a moment to discuss the rejection of some authors you may or may not know.

John Grisham - 28 publishers rejected "A Time to Kill"
Golding - 21 publishers rejected "Lord of the Flies"
Pearl Buck - 14 publishers rejected "The Good Earth"
George B. Shaw - first 5 novels rejected
Saroyan - first 100 articles rejected
Mary Higgins Clark - first short story rejected 40 times
Louis L'Amour - 350 rejections


(Source: http://writingcorner.com/motivation/mot-funinspire.htm)

Meg Cabot said that her Princess Diaries got rejected seventeen times before it was finally bought.
Marcel Proust decided to self-publish after being rejected three times.
Stephen King got the following rejection for his bestselling novel, Carrie: "We are not interested in science fiction which deals with negative utopias. They do not sell."
Shockingly, The Diary Of Anne Frank received the following rejection comment: "The girl doesn't, it seems to me, have a special perception or feeling which would lift that book above the curiosity' level."
(Source: http://www.debbieohi.com/personal/rejections.html)

Needless to say, Editors and Agents are wrong. I'm going to make a dangerous assertion that they are probably wrong more than they are right. Does that make them dummies? Of course not. It only takes one good sell for them to be set for the year. A good analogy here would be baseball. The greatest baseball player has a batting average under .400. This means he misses the ball nearly 7 out of every 10 times he gets up to bat. But it only takes one home run to spell the difference in the game. So, no, agents and editors are not stupid, despite what some aspiring writers would like to think. That little "masterpiece" you have sitting on your computer desk might be the next Harry Potter, but what the agent is saying is that the piece isn't right for him. End of story.

So what's an impatient, anxious, hopeful aspiring writer to do amid all that rejection? Well, the first response is "Gut up or Give up!" A writer faced with rejection must decide if he's willing to fight through the rejection and carry on. Give up completely or keep submitting to other agents and editors? Nathan Bransford can't answer that question for an aspiring writer. Curtis Brown (God rest his soul) can't answer that question for an aspiring writer. That must come from your heart. Do you wake up, go through your day, and go to bed at night with writing as your singular focus? If so, you're a writer. If you give up, you're a has been before you are an "ever was."

The Agent Theory

Here's where we depart from what's been discussed and get to the reason why this article was written to begin with. Agents and editors are lucky. They have the luxury of going with their guts. Going with their first instincts serves them well -- well enough they don't starve at least.
Writers don't have this luxury. Our gut is to write. Agents collect a paycheck everyday. They sit in an office, read queries, submissions and e-mails from industry insiders. They take phone calls, make phone calls, do "lunch" and negotiate movie deals or what have you. They work hard, no doubt. But at the end of the day, they have a guaranteed income. They can afford to go with their gut. They get paid regardless. Writers must never go with their gut. To do so is death to a writer's career. To go with one's "first instinct" is to eliminate the entire revision process. To simply pen a basic query and put no thought into it, no heart. Imagine if we were to read the first draft of Stephen King's "The Stand." It was probably a 300 page semi-organized story in usual need of clean up, structure and tone. Seven drafts later, (or 100 drafts... who knows?) we are graced with what is hailed as one of his best pieces ever! His first instincts didn't work, period. The way he told the story was a framework, but he had to go back, cogitate, contemplate, add, take away, revise, revise, revise...

Imagine if I sat at my computer pounding out a story's first draft and sent that to an editor or agent. I'd be the laughing stock of the publishing world! (Me and 3,000 other writers who actually DO this each day!) I don't do this, however. I sit. I take weeks, months, even years crafting my stories, amid family crises, personal health issues and major world events. I pour my heart and soul onto the 85,000 word manuscript. I interrupt family time, battle through sicknesses, cancel vacations and lose endless sleep as I work to make this story the best that it can be. I obsess over the query. I make as many drafts of my query letter as I do my novel, it seems. I send both letter and manuscript to friend and fellow writer alike, asking for assistance with making it as good as it can be.

And then I am rejected in five minutes by a very hard working, congenial, gut-led experienced agent, batting about .300 in the agenting world. And apparently I'm supposed to see the scales as balanced. It's not bitterness I express when I say that I don't see it thus. It's logic, I suppose. Logic of a person led not by his gut, but by something about six inches higher -- my heart.
And it leaves me wondering, how is a heart-led person supposed to convince a gut-led person that passion and teamwork leads to lasting success. We're speaking different languages. How am I to convince a person whose heart is out of the equation that my passion, devotion, desire and ability are several of the key elements it takes for a literary partnership to thrive? All I have is my passion and ability. I don't have a crystal ball into the future or a bankroll to guaranty his investment in me.

Agents and editors think with their guts. Writers think with their hearts. And it's only when the two find a way to communicate between the two that a connection is made. Those are great moments. It's that moment when writing does something truly magical. For it is in that moment -- the moment when guts and hearts are communicating in harmony -- that writing touches the deepest parts of a unified soul.

(Wow... that's cool. I need to write that down!)

Till next time, this article is brought to you by the aspiring letters W, E and H and by their partner in crime, number 2