Monday, July 9, 2007

Attention Big Brother Fans! This season has started.... (to fizzle out before it even began!)

Is it just me or is anyone else already bored by this season's cast, just two boring episodes in? There are some interesting characters to say the least, but the "twists" and what not have been pretty much the same stuff done bass ackwards from years past.

Anyway, who cares what I think? (And if that's true, why am I writing this blog? Ah well... )

Here are my takes on this season's housemates and their estimated chances of winning. Keep in mind I'm never right on the ultimate winner. I'm sure I'll be just as wrong this year as I have been in seasons past but oh well. At least, once you read my blog, you'll know who not to bet on when you go to Las Vegas next week.

Let's start with Kail. This week's Head of Household. She's already proven herself to be a liar. Ironic, mind you, that they introduced her by showing a clip where she stuffs a BIBLE into her bag, as if she couldn't live without it. Not once have they shown her reading it on TV and she is engaging in underhanded tactics that would make Jun and Alyson sit down and take notes. Plus she's not being forthright about who she is. She was boasting in her tape about how they practically owned the town. She thinks she'd get voted out if they knew she didn't need the money. She's right. She's one of the people who give truly religious folks a bad rap. I hope that she doesn't win. Personally, I don't think she will. She's formed an interesting alliance but I see it crumbling without some very powerful players that are not currently taking part in it. But I'll get to that. Eddie's Odds of KAIL winning: 28 to 1 (which is to say if everybody else got eliminated twice and she got voted back in after being eliminated herself maybe she'd win... otherwise, she'll be gone before August gets here.)

Next we have Amber, the single mom who is reportedly also taking care of several other family members. In my eyes, this makes her probably the most worthy candidate to win, but since when has the most worthy won? And to be fair, this isn't about charity or morality or what have you. It's about the ability to play the game. I do see her getting past this week, just because she's a relatively easy pawn and her "sob story" will win her some sympathy votes. Then when she's served her purpose, she'll be booted. Eddie's Odds of Amber winning: 12 to 1. A long shot, but not out of the running by any means.

Carol is the other nominee this week. And in a surprise twist, she's a former rival to houseguest Jessica (whom I'll get to in a minute.) I see Carol as very down to earth for a person her age. However, she's not crafty enough to form an effective alliance. She's going to try to get by on her looks and on the fact that she might be willing to make out for votes. (Not saying she would....saying she might.) That'll get her a few votes, as Alyson Irwin proved in seasons past, but it won't win the game. (Didn't work for Alyson did it? She placed second, not first.) Personally, she adds nothing to the game for me. She's going to be a floater. She'll be useful, as Amber would be. But I think she has less of a sob story. She's a sorority chick trying to make it on Daddy's Money. Boot her out and let the sob story continue a while. Not sure if Big Brother wants their summer ruined so fast by booting out one of the rivalries so quickly, but I think it should happen, just to make MY summer better so I'm sayin she'll be gone this week. Eddie's Odds of Carol Winning? 50 to 1.

What can I say about Daniele? She's cute, seems to be sweet, and she's very insecure about the fact she's not yet 21. Yanno, big brother could get in serious trouble if they allow an underage person to drink alcohol so I hope they'll take note of that. But this isn't about her drinking habits. It's about her chances. Personally, I think they're very good. With Daddy Dick in the house (even if they haven't spoke in a while) I believe him when I say he'll die before letting Daniele get voted out. Whether or not she'll reciprocate, I can't say. But again it's not about her morals. It's about her game playing ability. She's already proven she can turn on the sympathy waterworks. "Poor Little Me and My weird Daddy who just wants to be my friend, seeing as how I'm a grown woman now and don't need to be told what to do and he's willing to recognize that and just try to be your friend instead of trying to be all controlling and treat me like I'm 5 years old or something... boo hoo! I'm so mistreated!" You're sweet, kid. But you annoy me. Eddie's Odds of Daniele Winning: 6 to 1

Now for Daddy Dick...or Evil Dick as he prefers to be called. He's the oldest cast member in the house. His best shot for an ally is a daughter he hadn't spoken to in two or three years before entering the house. And his name dropping is getting old after just two episodes. Daniele is right. The boy needs to dial it down a bit. We get it. You're a tattooed, pierced freak who is currently experiencing a midlife crisis and a quest for approval from a much younger and more hip crowd. Now sit down, Edgar Old Guy, and let the kids have the bubblewrap for a while. You're going to be late for work! I seriously don't see him as a viable winner in this. Daniele is the key and I see her using him to get further in the game but his love for his daughter will ultimately be his undoing. Here's the question though. If his daughter is the ultimate winner, how will he feel if he winds up just being a pawn in her scheme? Will he still cry the tears and talk about how much he loves her? I don't know, but he'll be sitting outside the Big Brother house soon enough, so maybe I can ask him then. Eddie's Odds of Dick Winning: 13 to 1.

Dustin. Honestly I know very little about Dustin. I can't make a clear impression of him. As of this writing, he's a virtual mystery to me. He seems to be quite the cool player, but there is something a bit untrustworthy about him. Perhaps it's just his willingness to play the game. But in the rivalry with ex-boyfriend, Joe, Dustin gets the sympathy edge from me. (Again, I'll go into that later.) For that reason alone, I'll give him decent odds. Eddie's odds of Dustin Winning: 10 to 1

Eric! Yanno, nobody ever told me that Jim's Dad (from American Pie) had an affair with Adam Sandler!! Who knew!??? America's Player hmmm? Ehhh... boring. And Eric really doesn't make me laugh. I guess you have to be locked in an Alice-In-Wonderland-themed house to get the jokes. Either way, he's comic relief and is not perceived as much of a threat right now. That could buy him some time much like Robert was bought some time the year that Jun won. He wasn't perceived as a threat. He very well could have been, but for a twist of fate and (ultimately) his own lack of mental fortitude. Eric has a sense of humor and that's about it. Being 5'7, he's perceived as the least physical threat by the women. If he can buddy up with the girls, he's got a better shot, but I don't see it happening. For now, though, the fraternity of six foot steroid freaks will keep him around as their Big Brother version of Peter Pettigrew (Harry Potter reference for those of you who don't read.) After that, he's out and America's Player will be no more. Eddie's Odds of Eric Winning: Same as Eric "Cappy" from the previous season. Next to none...But I'll grant him numbers and say 16 to 1.

Jameka. I'm going to speak bluntly here, so don't get offended. I'm going to reveal an immutable truth about Jameka. She's this season's token black chick. She's a way of keeping the NAACP or whatever off of CBS's back, plain and simple. If it were not true, there'd be at least one other person of color in the house somewhere, as there have been in seasons past. She's a quota filler, nothing more. She's a floater and she'll be used to the benefit of other players. She has no one with whom she can truly align. Her best shot is to choose one of the gay guys and hope they'll watch each other's back. But that will only get her so far. And she'll be gone. I hate that this is true and I'm not saying it's excusable. I'm not saying it's justified. I'm not saying it's right in any way. But I am saying it's an obvious truth and anyone who can't face up to this simple fact is truly an ignorant racist. There are no asians in this year's contest. No one who would appear to be Indian or of Muslim faith. Just because Jen has a decent tan doesn't make her an ethnic minority. Jameka is alone in the house and soon she'll be outside the house. Right or wrong, it will happen just the same. And you can say you read it here first. Eddie's Odds of Jameka Winning: 100 to 1.

Jen. She cried over a PHOTOGRAPH! Are you kidding me? And then taped something over it so that the world couldn't see it? Honey, you're not that good looking! My Lord! Second, if she's that worried about your looks, my advice to anyone watching is get a degree in plastic surgery now, because 10 years from now, when things start to go south on ol' Jenny Girl, you're going to have one seriously frequent client on your hands! Looks fade, pud'n. What lasts is your heart and your mind. And judging by what I've seen so far, neither of yours is developed much above the level of an Alyson Irwin. But T&A got Alyson all the way to number 2 in her season. Of course, that same tactic got her booted rather quickly in All-stars but I digress. I don't think Jen can parlay big boobs and obsessive vanity into Big Brother Cash. She's got a better shot than some with those assets, but those assets won't get her the prize. In my opinion, she doesn't have enough brains. That'll be her undoing. Eddie's Odds of Jen Winning: 14 to 1.

Jessica. This girl just annoys me. That might be because I've only ever known two girls named Jessica that weren't complete and utter lying skank hoes, but I am not sure. She's like Holly and Janelle rolled into one. No brains and totally oblivious to the fact that her conceit makes her ten times uglier than any other woman in the house. I think she's got a few brains, just as Janelle proved to have, but I think it'll only get her so far. Ultimately she's not Big Brother winning material. And besides, with her "buddy" gone, why keep her around? There's no controversy. She's just a vote. Her only safety net is to promise her vote somewhere. That'll buy her some time, but she'll be gone eventually. Why? Because she annoys me. And eventually she'll annoy everyone else. But then I said the same thing about Janelle and she dang near won twice! Still, I think she'll be gone eventually. Eddie's Odds of Jessica Winning: 30 to 1

Joe. I hate to say it but he's not exactly a long shot to win. I don't think he'll win but he has a decent chance. It's just going to depend on which gay guy can convince the house he's the lesser of two evils. And let's face it. Joe came in with the "Original Eleven." If they see his attitude going from Jovial Joe to JackMonkey Joe, they'll probably diagnose Dustin as the problem and drop him like a bad habit. And there's very little anyone can do about that. Still, he really strikes me as an evil little prick. And to be honest, he reminds me of Marcellas, only far more feminine and much more of a liar and a whiner. If it was me, I'd kick him out in the first week, but it's not me and the people in the house never have my same way of thinking. So unfortunately I have to put up with him for a while. Lucky for me, he won't be around forever. He'll just be around a few more weeks than I'd be comfortable with. Eddie's Odds of Joe Winning: 6 to 1

Mike. Probably the best chance for a win here is Mike. Right now, no one knows that much about him. He's not approaching anyone for an alliance but he's being approached left and right. He's smart. He's letting others come to him. As weeks unfold here, I think we'll see Mike as almost a "Dr. Will" type. Crafty. Just hanging back. Remember, Dr. Will never won an HOH or POV yet he won season 2 and nearly won BB All-stars. I think this same strategy will serve Mike. Eddie's Odds of Mike Winning: 3 to 1

Nick. A former NFL player? For who? I don't recall him. Yanno, trying out for the team doesn't mean you were a former player. Anyone know what team he played for and if he did more than just shower with the guys at a practice? Anyway, he doesn't stand out for me as much more than a steroid freak. He'll ride coat tails. He'll serve folks in contests due to his physical prowess, but he's just the Big Brother mule. Doing the grunt work for those who don't want to have to do it themselves. He won't win, but the ultimate winne could wind up owing Nick for their success. Eddie's Odds of Nick Winning: 5 to 1

Zach. No doubt, he's this season's attempt at Howie Gordon. So far, I'm not entertained. And I don't think we have a "Busto" in this season, but maybe Kail could surprise me. Either way, I don't think he'll quite reach the level of humor and comic offensiveness by the playful Howie Gordon. And I don't really see him as much more than a second fiddle to the ultimate champ. Sort of like the "Four Horsemen" Alliance from seasons past. He'll ride the coat tails of others but he doesn't have the ability to truly be a leader. Maybe I'm wrong. It's early in the season. That's for sure. But coming up with this season's "Jack Shack" doesn't give me a sense of confidence about his intelligence. Eddie's Odds of Zach Winning: 12 to 1.

So there you have it. MIKE will be your ultimate winner. So will this be the first time in Big Brother history that two folks with the same name won it? Last year, Mike "Boogie" Malin won Big Brother All-Stars. Will another Mike take Big Brother season 8??? I guess you'll have to tune in for the next 3 months to find out, won't you? But in the meantime feel free to leave me your thoughts!

Till next time, this blog is brought to you by the letters W, E and H and by the number 2

Friday, June 22, 2007

So much going on these days.

I haven't been keeping up with what I consider to be a regular blogging schedule. Things have been very chaotic lately and I have to apologize for those of you who enjoy reading my occasional pointless ramblings.

First, the unimportant stuff. I'm on a mission (as many of you know) to get all of the state quarters. The program itself runs through 2008 with 5 coins being released each year. It's one of the hobbies (or whatever you'd like to call it) my son and I share. He has his map and I have mine. He's always asking me "Dad, what's the latest quarter that's out?" and of course I'm expected to know the answer at the drop of a hat. When you have 10,000 things on your mind, it's not always easy to keep the schedule straight in your head, but I do try because it's one of the few times my son has shown interest in something other than Gameboy and Legos. (Not that those are bad things. I'm just trying to expand his horizons a little. He's actually quite the little builder with his legos. Like father like son I believe.) Currently, we are both missing Washington (state) and Idaho. But in fairness, the US Mint's website does not officially have Idaho listed as being released. I just know that the schedule falls in such a way that the new coin is typically released in early to mid-June, so I know it's in circulation. Either way, we still don't have Washington and that one has been out since late March or early April.

We also want to start the presidential coins. If you haven't seen them, you should go to www.usmint.gov. The program is similar to the state quarters program, but they will be releasing 4 coins annually with the images of former presidents on them. And for those that are wondering, 2012 will see the release of TWO Grover Cleveland coins. This is being done because he was the only president to serve two non-consecutive terms in office. One coin will be issued for each of his two non-consecutive terms. (1885-1889 and 1893-1897 respectively. Benjamin Harrison served from 1889 to 1893.) Oddly, the program will feature presidents all the way through Gerald Ford (President number 38) but will not feature Ronald Reagan, despite the fact he has passed on. This is being done, I believe, because Jimmy Carter -- who served between Ford and Reagan -- is still living. Should Jimmy Carter die prior to 2016, it's likely that the Carter and Reagan coins will be issued. Likewise, should G.H.W. Bush die prior to 2017, his image will likely be the first to be featured in that year, followed by Bill Clinton and G.W. Bush, should he pass on prior to 2017. As Clinton and Bush Jr. are pretty young fellas, it's likely the program could stop (or take a very long pause) with Bush Sr.

While you're on the USMINT's website, be sure and check out the First Lady coins. They are calling it the "First Spouse" program, on the off chance that Hillary Clinton gets elected president in 2008. After all, Bill wouldn't make a very good First Lady now would he? Personally, I just pray it's not an omen of things to come. If Hillary gets elected president, I swear I'm going to consider moving to Canada, or maybe Cuba. Somewhere the leader isn't such a tyrant.

Those of you who are on the "Sister" watch have been very patient with me, as my family is essentially forced to wait for news from doctors who seem more interested in their golf games than in solving the mystery behind my sister's elevated white blood count. I thank you for your continued prayers and your messages of hope and support.

As you've read, if you've been keeping up with my myspace bulletins, we took Little Man to Shreveport this week to have things looked at. He is scheduled to have his surgery on August 15th at 10:00 a.m. in Shreveport. For those who haven't been keeping up, this is to correct a relatively minor case of hypospadias. He's had two surgeries in the past. One at 12 months, one at 18 months. But the problem still exists. We are hoping this will correct the issue once and for all but the truth is you just never know. Again, I've been touched by your well wishes and messages of encouragement. The good news is that he should be bouncing off the walls within a couple of days of the surgery.And he doesn't start back to school until August 27th, so he should heal in plenty of time to begin 4th grade with a new attitude!

On the writing front, I'm disappointed to say there's not much happening. There is a lot in the planning and development stages but I've been rather inundated with personal life issues lately and haven't had much time for actual work toward this goal. Samantha and I have a couple of side projects we're wanting to work on, along with Indiesearchlight. They're local projects which probably won't interest many of you, but they will be very writing-oriented and I do believe they'll keep us both more focused on our individual careers.

To a similar end, I believe I will hear something fairly soon on the manuscript for In The Breath of God's sequel. I have been praying about it very hard (as have several family members and friends) so I'm doing my best to be patient and trust in God's work. It may not be that I've yet discovered the right direction but even Thomas Edison failed thousands of times before he succeeded. And I rather like his attitude when he said something to the effect "I haven't failed. I've merely discovered thousands of ways a light bulb will not work." I like that. To that end, I don't believe I have failed to publish my book. I've merely discovered hundreds of paths that don't lead to publication. That experience will benefit me in the long run because I can teach others to avoid these pitfalls and dead ends. In the meantime, all I can say to the fans of Alex Mendez, et al, is BE PATIENT. I am already working on the next two stories in the series and I know you will be very pleased and excited to read the continuing adventures of the Mendez clan. They get in some pretty hair-raising predicaments along the way. And if you know me, you'll not be surprised to find out they don't come out entirely unscathed. You'll meet some new faces and, possibly, say goodbye to some favorites. But no matter what, I do believe you will be satisfied with the way the story is progressing. I know that I'm excited to see the characters grow and develop. What time I've been able to spend with them in the past several weeks has been refreshing, invigorating and, at times, bittersweet.

Life is not slowing down for me. Quite the contrary, it's gaining momentum, seemingly with every breath I take. Thank God I feel ready for it. It might overwhelm me in the long run, but I am ready to be overwhelmed. I'm ready to take on new challenges and face the fruits of my labor, whatever that may mean.

Until that time, this blog is brought to you by the letters W, E and H and by the number 2

Monday, June 11, 2007

My Life In Review

This weekend, we took a trip to Dallas and visited the Dallas World Aquarium. Little Man is a huge animal freak and, to be honest, I love sea creatures so we were all pretty excited. Kelly and I decided to take him because he'd really worked hard to get his grades up and to pass the TAKS test this year. (The TAKS test is the Texas version of the state standardized testing. In Florida they refer to it as the FCAT. Not sure about other states. But basically it's a general way of evaluating whether or not a student has a grasp on the minimum skills required to go to the next grade -- in this case, fourth grade.)

The weekend was very fun, but very busy. The bad thing about taking a weekend trip somewhere is that you don't get to rest, so you come to work on Monday more tired than you were on Friday. But he deserved the reward and I'd do it again under the same circumstance.

This week, he has Cub Scout Day Camp. He leaves Gilmer at about 7:00 a.m. (his cubmaster drives him to the campsite it Longview) and we finally get him back somewhere along 6:00 I'm guessing. Just in time for dinner, I guess. It's a long day, but a day filled with fun, learning and plenty of physical activity to keep him fit and trim and healthy. He's been in Cub Scouts for a while now. Going into his first year of Webelos scouts. It's a two-year deal that precedes actual Boy Scouts, and boy the requirements are pretty tough for a 9 to 10 year old fella. The funny thing is he'll come away from Day Camp (at the end of this week) nearly 2/3 of the way finished with the requirements for Webelos. Needless to say, they pack quite a lot in this one week. And there are other campouts periodically throughout the year where he could theoretically earn more patches, badges, pins and awards. We'll have to see how that goes.

One of the campouts is called "Dad and Lad." It's basically a campout strictly for fathers and sons (Or grandfathers, uncles, big brothers, cousins...whoever... just a male adult and a scout.) He's been in scouting through the bobcat, wolf and bear years and I can honestly say we've never been to a Dad and Lad. Truth is I don't know that I'd ever feel comfortable taking him. Wheelchairs and outdoors don't mix very well. And, if I'm being totally honest, Eddie and camping doesn't mix very well either. So, because my son has a disabled man for a father, he has to miss out on what could be a fun time. I've thought about asking a friend here or there to step in and "be dad" for a weekend, but I never do. Anymore, most of my friends are busy with their own kids and the ones that aren't are busy with other things, so why bother them with something else, yanno?

As to the writing scene, not much is happening right now. I am going through a refocusing phase right now. With the follow-up to In The Breath of God finished, I am seeking representation/publication while trying to work on the next one in the series. Honestly, I'm finding it a bit difficult, what with the fate of its predecessor still in uncertain limbo. It sounds weird but I just feel strange trying to continue a story that, itself, seems to be on pause. I've submitted the story to Blooming Tree Press. When I spoke to her at the NETWO conference, she truly seemed enthusiastic about the story, so I'm keeping a very upbeat frame of mind as far as that goes. I just wish I'd hear something. This is the tough part about the writing biz. The waiting game. I don't like to put all my eggs in one basket but I've really done that this time. I have had such a strong, positive feeling that (to use a phrase from Texas Hold em Poker) I went "all in". I bet it all on this one shot and if it doesn't pay off, it's back to square one. (A place I'm beginning to find quite familiar, I'm sad to say.)

On Saturday, I caught myself saying to Kelly "I'm just waiting for something to happen." No sooner had I said it, I thought "If you're just waiting, you're not making things happen. And you're not a writer. You're a waiter." So, as I said, I'm in a phase of refocusing my writing career. I'm evaluating past efforts, redefining future goals and, ideally, developing a flexible plan for the ultimate success of those goals. Where this path will take me is anyone's guess. But I'm ready. And this time I'm not waiting for something to happen. I'm looking for a way to make something happen. So if you have any ideas, feel free to share them. I'm a blank slate right now. Paint me, Dear Lord. Paint me with your Heavenly rainbow. Fill this blank canvass with the colors of your choosing. My only request. Warn me before you use pink, okay?

Till next time, this blog is brought to you by the artful letters W, E and H and by the dynamic designs of the number 2.

Friday, May 25, 2007

FINALLY! A blog about WRITING!

Imagine that! A writer blogging on the subject of WRITING! What a NOVEL concept! (get it? Writer... Novel...Okay anyway... moving on)

This is going to be a short blog, mostly because I think the topic has been somewhat "done to death." However, I just can't help but chime in with a thought that's been bugging me for days now.

You've probably heard many "new" writers compared to writers of more fame and renown. ("He's the next John Grisham!" "She's Lisa Gardener made over!")

I often critique the query letters of fellow writers who include the astounding prediction that they are the next Stephen King or the next Dean Koontz or the next (fill in the blank here). I tell them what any industry insider will tell them. Don't be the next anyone. Be the FIRST you. Period.

It is somewhat true that all the basic plots have been done. All a writer can do is bring his or her own spin to a topic that's probably been explored 1000 times. (Case in point? This blog!) You have to bring something fresh to the table. Something that the agents, editors, publishers and (most importantly) reading public haven't seen before. Or at least something they haven't seen in a while. If you're just going to rehash something that James Patterson wrote last year, you're doomed to failure. Number one, James Patterson didn't write that book "last year." Chances are he wrote it 3 to 5 years ago, submitted it to the publisher and it went to press sometime in the ensuing 12 to 24 months. So anything you'd copy from another writer's "last year" is actually several years old. (And most likely being copied by 100 others trying to make their big break).

One of the worst rebukes I ever got from an agent (about 10 years ago or so) was a very simple hand-scrawled note on my cover letter: "It's been done to death."

Of course, in my youthful exuberance, my mind screamed "not by ME!" But in the end, the agent had a point. Even if it hadn't been done "by me," there was nothing new on the page. Nothing fresh. Nothing that would stand out from the crowd to say "look at this!" Did I quit? No, of course not. I kept on writing. (Full disclosure: I did put that manuscript aside, after a couple years of tinkering. As I matured, I just began to think that the time for this story wasn't right. Perhaps someday I will revisit it. For now, it is locked safely away where only I can mourn the story that never was.)

The point of this somewhat rambling diatribe is very simple. Be the first you. If you have to be the "next" something, be the next bestseller. And the only way to do that is to be the FIRST you.

Be original. Find your voice. Find your angle. Find your spin. Find that extra something you can bring to it and give the story a new twist. Frankenstein in a ballerina costume takes the story down an entirely different path!

Till next time, this blog is brought to you by the letters W, E and H and by the number 2.

Friday, May 4, 2007

These Weeks In Review

It's been a wild ride for me over the last couple of weeks. I've been so addled and inundated with work that I haven't had time to sit down and really just write it all down. Having done so just prior to blogging, I must say it's quite odd to think that I packed all these events into basically the last two weeks.

* Those of you who are new to my friends list won't know this, but a couple of weeks ago, I lost a dear family member, Lee Hobbs. He was my grandfather's cousin, so we are distantly related, but we've always been relatively close. He left behind his second wife and two daughters. Not only was he a family member. I have been living in a duplex he owned for the last 4 or 5 years. When I moved back to Texas, Lee was gracious and generous enough to let me live here at a monthly rental rate that is probably 2/3 what he could have gotten from anyone else in today's market. He didn't need the money. He let me live here because I needed a home. His generous spirit will never be forgotten.

* Just days after Lee's passing, my dear friend Julie Cain called me with news that her father had passed away. Andrew Cain was 84 years old. He was a scout master, a church leader and a science teacher to generations of children. To say he was a great man is one of the biggest understatements of the century. He was inventive. He was creative. He was fun. He was interesting. He was inspiring. In the last several years, I'd managed to lose touch with so many folks, as people tend to do over the years. Sadly, I never got a chance to tell Mr. Cain how much I loved and appreciated him. I do hope he knows it now.

*As many of you know (if you read my bulletin this morning) Little Man passed his TAKS test. As I explained, the TAKS test is Texas' version of the state standardized testing system meant to help us compete with the standards set by the national government. Supposedly it means we're just as smart as Japanese kids and what not. I'm not sure if it's necessarily an accurate depiction of that, but I do know that my son is intensely smart, curious and creative and I couldn't be a prouder papa if I tried! WOOT WOOT!

* April 27th and 28th, I attended the writer's conference for the North East Texas Writer's Association (NETWO). The conference was held at Lake Bob Sandlin, specifically at Camp Shiloh. You talk about a beautiful place! If nothing else, two days there got my writer's juices flowing just because of the scenery! But in all honesty the conference itself was tremendous! I got to network with close to 100 of the friendliest and most talented writers I've ever known, including Dusty Richards, Joe Lansdale, Betsey Haynes and Jane Graves, (Who was mortified to learn that she'd named a character after my ex-wife, but it was a hilarious revelation nonetheless! And she did assure me that the character who holds my ex-wife's name goes through hell and back before finally developing a redeeming character for which she is rewarded with a decent life. I figure I can live with that. At least she has to reach rock bottom first.)

The conference also included Editor and Publisher Stacey Barney from Putnam, Miriam Goderich, a New York literary agent and Miriam Hees, a publisher from Austin, Texas. While I did not get a one-on-one with Ms. Barney, I had the honor of hearing her speak and was very much entertained and informed. Mrs. Goderich was gracious enough to offer me a few minutes of her time. She gave me invaluable feedback on my manuscript idea and on the Mendez series in general. Needless to say I left the meeting a much better writer, just having spent time with her. Mrs. Hees agreed to read a sample of my work and had glowing things to say. She told me I really know how to "write a good sentence..." going on to say "That sounds like a strange way for me to start off, but basick good sentence structure is not always easy to find..." Needless to say I could have stopped reading her remarks right there and been just fine! (But I didn't stop there and I gained very valuable advice from her as well.) She suggested a few minor changes. (Agreeing with Mrs. Goderich on some things, disagreeing on others, which just proves the industry is very subjective.) Still, I took all of their advice to heart and have incorporated it into an update to the manuscript. After incorporating the changes Mrs. Hees and Mrs. Goderich suggested, Mrs. Hees actually agreed to pass my manuscript on to her Adult book editor. (Mrs. Hees mostly deals with the children's book side of things, but has a guy that deals more with books geared towards adults.) Of course this doesn't guaranty publication, but it's the most promising thing that's happened to my career in a long time, so I'm pretty stoked. I don't know if I should have let the cat out of the bag before I even sent her the polished manuscript, but I am very excited and I will be excited whether she agrees to publish me or not. The fact is she liked my work enough to agree to pass it on to her associate. That in and of itself tells me I'm worth something. Now if I just had an agent to help me negotiate a good contract! Anyone??? Anyone??? (Insert the sound of crickets here.)

* Grandma continues to improve, but she still doesn't really have all her marbles about her. Honestly I don't know if she ever will. Let's face it. She's 85 years old. She's lived a wonderful -- if hard -- life and has been the rock and the faith-filled matriarch of this Bible Belt, God-loving family for a number of years. Eventually torches have to get passed and others need to step up. I think that's what society has forgotten. In Biblical times, the eldest son(s) stepped up to take over when the father got too old or feeble. Likewise, the eldest daughters or daughters-in-law took over out of respect for an aging mother. Society is so different these days. Nowadays most families are two-income families. They can't function without both Mom and Dad holding down a job. It's not like it was when Grandma and Grandpa were raising kids. Grandpa killed himself, working 16 to 20 hour shifts (so it's rumored) at Lone Star Steel. Likewise, my Uncles Bill and Marion followed their dads into business for a few years, helping bring money into the family. As for Grandma? She stayed home raising my mom and her brother Jerry. (Not sure if Uncle Jerry ever joined the crew at Lone Star Steel. It wouldn't have surprised me though. Seems everybody who grew up out there worked at Lone Star Steel at some point.)

Whatever the case, the fact is that the family survived on one income. My dad's family was much the same. His mom held down an occasional job. I know she was a nurse at one point. But by and large once kids came around, she was a stay-at-home mom. And it worked. They became very well-to-do thanks to the oil boom and the ever-increasing need for pipeline and construction work.

Today, you can't do that. A one-income family (like my cousins Jason and Angie) are such a rarety. It's more the exception than the rule. And so there is no one available to take over the reigns of "Matriarch" for my grandmother. There really isn't anyone with that kind of time anymore.

I thought technology was supposed to make our lives easier. I thought we were supposed to have shorter work days, larger paychecks and be living the Life of Riley. Well if this is the Life of Riley, let me tell you, Riley has a really crappy life!

Maybe it's just me, but it seems we're worse off today than we were 30 or 40 years ago. And if you doubt that, you need look no further than the space program. Forty years ago, we could land a man on the moon and return him safely to earth even if the craft gets struck by lightning during take off (See the Apollo 12 mission) Today, we can't even get a space shuttle off the ground because a hail storm hits south florida three days before launch. 1970's technology was good enough to save me from a doctor's prediction that I'd be dead by age 2. But 2007 technology can't even help me lose 40 or 50 lbs so that I can be healthier and help my son develop his baseball, basketball or football skills.

*Finally, this weekend is my book signing at Hastings in Longview. Samantha Branham (Author of The Tempest's Child) will be joining me in a meet-and-greet for our respective fans. I do look forward to meeting not only my fans but those of Samantha's growing fan base. Book signings are tremendous fun. I highly recommend them to anyone who's ever written a book. It's a great adrenaline rush.

Okay well that's the week(s) that was/were. It's a heck of a disorganized hodge podge of things, but it's pretty much everything that's been going on. My only other thing is American Idol. Phil Stacey shouldn't have gone home this week. He was finally coming into his comfort zone and yet America voted for that no talent Blake Lewis over Phil Stacey. Blake's rendition of the Bon Jovi classic was positiveley sacreligious if you ask me. You could tell in the interview that Jon Bon Jovi didn't like it and in all honesty neither did I!

Till next time, this blog is brought to you by the letters W, E and H and by the number 2

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Thanks and everything

Hi everybody-

I just wanted to make sure I thanked everyone once again for all the continued prayers for my grandmother, mother and all my family during this time.

Grandma continues to have some difficulty with her general cognition. The lights appear to be on, but the times when no one is home seem to be more and more frequent, I'm sad to say. I love her to death, but I do see this as a very bad sign from a woman who has always been a powerful force in the world. Suddenly a woman well known for her strength seems stubbornly unable to admit the weakness overtaking her on so many levels.

It has to be horribly tough on her. She's been the rock that this family leaned on for probably more years than I've been alive. Now to see her mind slowly fading away.... well, it's not something I find easy to watch.

I've always felt so inadequate up against the tremendous faith and strength and courage she has possessed. But it is impossible to express the feeling of helplessness inside me as I observe her slide into inevitable senility.

Is it Alzheimers or dementia? I can't say that with any certainty of course. I'm not a doctor. I hold no degree in neurology or what have you. What I do know is that the grandma I knew 20 or 25 years ago is all but gone. Now there are mere glimmers. Occasional visits from the sharp mind and deep philosophical faith that so powerfully defined her character.

I do not know what will happen. Well, that's not true. She turns 85 on May 9th. I know what's coming eventually. But it's the between time that scares me. It's also the word "eventually" that scares me. Eventually could be 3 minutes after I post this blog or 10 years from now. Eventually could be some indetermanent time frame long after science discovers a way to make people live well into their triple digit years. But then again, as scary as that unknown is, I know one thing with absolute certainty. Not knowing is, indeed 1000 times better than if God were to curse me with the knowledge of the exact moment he had chosen to call my grandmother home.

I might have inherited some of her strength, but I know without a doubt that burdon is one I could not bear.

God bless everyone who continues to pray for this wonderful saint of a woman. You can't ever know exactly how much your prayers mean to me.

Till next time, this blog is brought to you by the letters W, E and H and by the number 2.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Prayer Is Not An Option!

On September 20, 2001, President Bush gave a speech announcing his intention to carry on a "War on Terror" begun by mindless followers brainwised by the sadistic rantings of Usama bin Laden. What follows is an exerpt from that speech:

We have seen the state of our Union in the endurance of rescuers working past exhaustion.

We've seen the unfurling of flags, the lighting of candles, the giving of blood, the saying of prayers in English, Hebrew and Arabic.

We have seen the decency of a loving and giving people who have made the grief of strangers their own.

My fellow citizens, for the last nine days, the entire world has seen for itself the state of union, and it is strong.

Tonight, we are a country awakened to danger and called to defend freedom. Our grief has turned to anger and anger to resolution. Whether we bring our enemies to justice or bring justice to our enemies, justice will be done.

I thank the Congress for its leadership at such an important time.

All of America was touched on the evening of the tragedy to see Republicans and Democrats joined together on the steps of this Capitol singing "God Bless America."
---
I have to admit I searched the internet high and low for a picture of Dennis Hastert leading the members of Congress in this unprecidented event. Though it was more than 5 years ago, I remember it as if it were yesterday. As the president said, Democrat and Republican alike joined hands -- metaphorically and literally speaking -- in the prayer and acknowledgement of a Supreme Being. Did they express that it was a Christian God they were acknowledging? No. Did they pray "we love you, oh Christian God in Heaven"? No. But the manner in which the ceremony was conducted was nonetheless Judeo-Christian in its roots. It was a ceremony conducted without fear. And it was a ceremony echoed on courthouse steps, in schools, in private homes, corporations and churches all across the country. For once, we were united. As the words of the Pledge of Allegiance says, for once we were "...One Nation Under God..."

Later, in this same speech, Bush said the following:

And on behalf of the American people, I thank the world for its outpouring of support.

America will never forget the sounds of our national anthem playing at Buckingham Palace, on the streets of Paris and at Berlin's Brandenburg Gate.
We will not forget South Korean children gathering to pray outside our embassy in Seoul, or the prayers of sympathy offered at a mosque in Cairo.
We will not forget moments of silence and days of mourning in Australia and Africa and Latin America.

Nor will we forget the citizens of 80 other nations who died with our own. Dozens of Pakistanis, more than 130 Israelis, more than 250 citizens of India, men and women from El Salvador, Iran, Mexico and Japan, and hundreds of British citizens.

----
Here's the problem. Bush talked about all the things we would not forget. We would not forget our national anthem being played in tributes across the globe. We would not lose sight of the more than 80 nations who lost citizens on that horrific day. We would not let fade the memories of universal unity and the agreement that this evil must be defeated. We would not forget and we would not waver in our resolve...

And then we blinked.

As the smoke cleared and the cries of our nations' dead faded into distant memory, the nation as a whole, lost sight of reality. We let go of the helpless, frightened, confused feelings we all shared as we watched the Twin Towers fall, the Pentagon smoulder and glued ourselves to news stories of a downed plane in a Pennsylvania field.

Our minds forgot the images released later that year of bin Laden and several associates laughing in amazement, commenting that they had calculated only the first few floors of the buildings would fall, leaving the rest intact. How gleefully they celebrated at what they must have considered a "heavenly" stroke of luck.

Over time, we even forgot how we turned to God in this time of great human frailty. As the smoke cleared and the wounds began to heal, suddenly we did what we always do as a human race. We turned our back to God and relied on our own strengths, our own will power, our own perceptions and, most sad of all, our own blind self-assurance that God had taken care of us so we didn't need him any more. There wasn't any tragedy, so God could go back to playing with his toys in the corner or whatever. He could go back to tinkering with the stars or creating a new species of animal or making a way for the White Sox to win the championship. You know, all that pointless stuff that God does.

2003 saw the Columbia space shuttle disaster that took the lives of seven valiant and courageous heroes. On that day, the nation again bowed its head in prayer, fervently beseeching a Supreme Creator for peace and comfort in the time of great sorrow.

In 2004, when terrorists attacked a train in Madrid, Spain, even Americans again turned to a God they had ignored for months after the fire had died from the Columbia tragedy.

2005's London subway attacks again brought the God seekers out in droves. More recently -- October of 2006 to be exact -- when an Amish school was shot up by a crazed member of their own community, God again was asked to comfort us in our time of grief and confusion.

Since the horrible events of April 16, 2007, I've seen and heard politicians, celebrities and newscasters on every channel offering their prayers, thoughts and well-wishes. I can't even count the number of times I've heard someone say "I'm praying for you" or "We will have you in our prayers." And you know what? It's a sweet thought. But it's also a sickening thought. Why? Because the words are empty. I would love to know how many prayers Simon Cowell actually said for the victims and families of Virginia Tech. How many times has Ryan Seacrest actually bent a knee and closed his eyes, asking his Creator to give comfort to those families? How many prayers have Keith Olberman, Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama actually offered up in the name of the violence that occured? How many of them actually grieve for these 33 people with whom they had no connection? How many of them truly give thought to the many people still hospitalized from wounds suffered on that horrid day?

How many still pray for the victims of Columbine, the anniversary of which is tomorrow. When was the last time any of them actually gave thought to the survivors (or the victimes) of the Branch Davidian stand-off in Waco, Texas? (The anniversary of which is today!) When was the last time Paris Hilton or some other celebrity actually got down on their knees for something meaningful? (Which is to say, not a sex act!)

Are we supposed to spend the rest of our lives in mourning for these people? No, of course not. I know that's where this way of thinking was leading you, but that's not my message. The point I am trying to make is that people are so empty anymore. No one really cares. You offer up your empty promises of prayer and consider your good deed done for the day. What I'd like to know is how many of you actually make good on your promise to pray?

I honestly can't count the number of comforting e-mails I've gotten in the past few days, as I have posted message after message about my grandmother's recent health struggles. To read these promises of prayer and well wishes for myself and my family has been extraordinarily comforting. By and large, I've been reasonably sure that those of you who have said you're going to pray have, in fact, prayed. If you're like me -- and many of you are -- chances are many of you prayed even as you were e-mailing me your comforting words of affection.

A couple of times, however, I will admit I wondered if this or that person was actually praying. In the long run, I don't think it's as important as who actually IS praying, but I admit I have had my doubts a few times. Especially in the wake of the events of April 16th, 2007. So many empty words. So many politicians encouraging people to pray. Six months from now, these are the same people who will be saying they agree with the ACLU that Christianity is evil but to eliminate Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism or Atheism for that matter is infringing on the free speech of these citizens. Six months from now, when the wounds of April 16th have healed, Americans will do what it always does when they feel like they no longer need God. They'll tell him to run along and go play.

"Just stay over there, God, so that we know where to find you the next time a plane hits our buildings or some wack job foreigner decides he wants to shoot up the school because nobody wants to play with him or when some other idiot decides he's Jesus Christ incarnate and wants to walk 800 people to their deaths... Don't call us, God. We'll call you."

People, it's time to wake up. God doesn't work that way. God is not Santa Claus watching to see if you've been good or bad, checking the naughty list twice and waiting for you to pray for that new pair of jeans you want.

God is not a Deity of convenience. Either you're willing to worship him in the good times or you're not. But if you're not, don't bother turning to him in times of trouble, you stinking hypocrite! I don't know about God, but I don't want to hear it. God's not good enough for you to worship in times of Joy, but he's good enough for you to call upon when you finally realize how powerless you are to truly effect real change in the world?

It's time to decide if the 80 percent of you who claim to be Christian really are what you say you are. It's time to put up or shut up in this world. I truly do sympathize with the events on the Virginia Tech campus and when I say I do pray -- and have prayed -- for the victims and their families, I mean it. I have prayed many times in the past few days. I continue to do so even as I am writing this blog. For those of you out there offering your pitiful meaningless well-wishes and empty, unfulfilled promises of prayer, I say SHAME ON YOU! How dare you offer up a false sense of security. Again, the speech President Bush made on September 20, 2001 rings in my mind.

We're not deceived by their pretenses to piety.

Americans are asking, "How will we fight and win this war?" We will direct every resource at our command -- every means of diplomacy, every tool of intelligence, every instrument of law enforcement, every financial influence and every necessary weapon of war -- to the destruction and to the defeat of the global terror network.

This is the world's fight. This is civilization's fight. This is the fight of all who believe in progress and pluralism, tolerance and freedom.

We ask every nation to join us.

We will ask and we will need the help of police forces, intelligence services and banking systems around the world. The United States is grateful that many nations and many international organizations have already responded with sympathy and with support -- nations from Latin America, to Asia, to Africa, to Europe, to the Islamic world.

Perhaps the NATO charter reflects best the attitude of the world: An attack on one is an attack on all. The civilized world is rallying to America's side.

They understand that if this terror goes unpunished, their own cities, their own citizens may be next. Terror unanswered cannot only bring down buildings, it can threaten the stability of legitimate governments.

And you know what? We're not going to allow it.

Americans are asking, "What is expected of us?"

I ask you to live your lives and hug your children.
---
Today, I echo President Bush's words. What can you do to stop this tragedy from occuring? Several things. But above all, live your life and hug your children. Hug your children. That's easy to define. But what does it mean to live your life? It means keeping your eyes on God, plain and simple. It means loving Him through the good times as much as you rely on Him during hard times.

As long as the United States of America is determined and strong, this will not be an age of terror. This will be an age of liberty here and across the world.
Great harm has been done to us. We have suffered great loss. And in our grief and anger, we have found our mission and our moment.

Freedom and fear are at war. The advance of human freedom, the great achievement of our time and the great hope of every time, now depends on us....Even grief recedes with time and grace.

In all that lies before us, may God grant us wisdom, and may he watch over the United States of America.
----
Until next time, may God watch over the blog brought to you by the letters W, E and H and by the number 2.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

My Take on Don Imus

Before I am lumped in with Don Imus as a racist, simply because of the color of my skin or the outspoken nature of my blogs, let me say one thing from the beginning. His comments about the Rutgers female basketball players was deplorable. It was stupid, beyond ignorant and a horrifying lapse in judgement. Having said that, has Don Imus ever really had that sound of judgement? Furthermore, has he said anything any less offensive than some of the things fellow SHOCK JOCK, Howard Stern does or says on his show? Granted, Stern hasn't made any blatantly-racial remarks such as the ones Don Imus made on his show, but he's offended 100 people for every 1 Don Imus has offended with this sick perversion.

Now, I'm going to make one thing perfectly clear. I am not excusing what Don Imus did. I am not saying it is acceptable. I am not saying he was right or justified in any way. What I am saying is that two wrongs don't make a right. Taking away this man's livelihood will not undo what was done. These supposed perveyors of forgiveness like Jesse Jackson and The Reverend Al Sharpton are screaming so loudly for Imus' resignation (or firing) that they can't even see past their own blind rage.

I understand you are hurt. I understand you are offended. I might not understand the nature of that hurt. I might not understand the nature of that offense, but I understand the FACT that you are hurt and offended. But does that mean you need to hurt Don Imus? What will that prove, except that you're cut from the same racist mold from which his comments sprang. (I do not believe Don Imus is a racist. His comments, yes, but not him as a person.) You're going to prove that you can be just as anti-white with your actions as Don Imus was anti-black with his comments. Is that what you're after, Rev. Sharpton? Are you out to prove you can stoop to that level of hatred? Or are you out to prove you can rise above it? Because I don't see any rising above. I see you bending knee. I see you bowing to the hatred that was inadvertently spewed in Don Imus' comments. I see you letting it bring you down from the heights to which God can lift you if you will let him.

Jesus said "Love your enemies and pray for him who persecutes you..." How many times have you prayed for Don Imus, Rev. Sharpton?

I make no excuses for Don Imus. I do not support or condone what he said on his radio show. However, I do believe that vengeance belongs to God alone and it is up to Him to decide what punishment needs to be given to Mr. Imus. I don't understand why the true purveyors of hatred, isolation, bigotry, racism, sexism and ignorance (such as Rev. Sharpton and Rosie O'Donnell) think they have the right to spew their poison on the air but others don't have a right to voice his or her opinion.

The Rutgers team has every right to be offended. I'm a white guy who doesn't play basketball anywhere and I'm offended. But I don't have a right to call for Don Imus' resignation and neither does Al Sharpton. Where's the outrage when Rosie O'Donnell "outs" Clay Aiken unexpectedly? Where's the outrage when Al Sharpton insults white people by saying that blacks were the first slaves in this country (when in fact whites were the first slaves brought to this country.) Where's the outrage when these idiots stand up and speak their idiotic rantings or try to spread their pointless garbage?

This outrage is too one-sided and that is a problem.

Like I said, two wrongs don't make a right. I understand you're hurt, but hurting him will only HURT IMUS. It won't HEAL anything. So, really, what good is it?

These thoughts have been summarized for your protection.

Till next time this blog is brought to you by the letters W, E and H and by the number 2

Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Lucky You!

In his recent blog Nathan Bransford -- Agent for Curtis Brown -- spoke about a concept that's very near and dear to my heart, the dreaded "speed rejection."

In it, Mr. Bransford discussed the reasons why agents will often send a rejection to a query letter in (say) five minutes. As a person who has experienced this phenomena more than once, I have to say I've thought long and hard about it. Prior to reading Nathan's blog, I must say I pictured some stuffy suit-clad business type, with his salt-and-peppered widow's peak and leathery skin. I envisioned this imaginary villain laughing hysterically as he read each query with disdain, responding to each with a typical one liner "not for me, thanks!" before going on to the next poor, innocent, aspiring writer.

Having read his blog, I came to understand that he's a busy man, plain and simple. He doesn't want to disrespect anyone, but he also doesn't want to blow smoke up your butt or waste your time. ("your", of course, referring to my fellow aspiring writer.)

Still, I must admit I'm an enigma. I'm an anomoly in the writing world. I'm different. I'm Random Man, but I'm also marching to the beat of my own drummer. Keeping that in mind, it should come as no surprise that I decided to pose a question to Mr. Nathan Bransford. As I'm known for my offbeat sense of humor, I'm quite sure he didn't know what to make of my question, but I have to recognize the candor and professionalism with which he answered the question that I seriously wanted answered.

Quite simply, I asked him had he ever speed rejected a query only to re-think his decision later on. Perhaps he would be driving home at the end of a long day and thought "Well, I don't know. That does sound appealing." or whatever.

In short, he wrote that he'd never experienced that. He doesn't second guess himself. He goes with his gut, which is the way he has learned to do his job. His first instincts, like most agents, are always right.. (I'm sure the 8 publishers that rejected Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone aren't second guessing themselves either. Kicking themselves, maybe; But hardly second guessing themselves. There's a confidence on that side of this business that forbids such a sin.)
Let me pause for a moment to discuss the rejection of some authors you may or may not know.

John Grisham - 28 publishers rejected "A Time to Kill"
Golding - 21 publishers rejected "Lord of the Flies"
Pearl Buck - 14 publishers rejected "The Good Earth"
George B. Shaw - first 5 novels rejected
Saroyan - first 100 articles rejected
Mary Higgins Clark - first short story rejected 40 times
Louis L'Amour - 350 rejections


(Source: http://writingcorner.com/motivation/mot-funinspire.htm)

Meg Cabot said that her Princess Diaries got rejected seventeen times before it was finally bought.
Marcel Proust decided to self-publish after being rejected three times.
Stephen King got the following rejection for his bestselling novel, Carrie: "We are not interested in science fiction which deals with negative utopias. They do not sell."
Shockingly, The Diary Of Anne Frank received the following rejection comment: "The girl doesn't, it seems to me, have a special perception or feeling which would lift that book above the curiosity' level."
(Source: http://www.debbieohi.com/personal/rejections.html)

Needless to say, Editors and Agents are wrong. I'm going to make a dangerous assertion that they are probably wrong more than they are right. Does that make them dummies? Of course not. It only takes one good sell for them to be set for the year. A good analogy here would be baseball. The greatest baseball player has a batting average under .400. This means he misses the ball nearly 7 out of every 10 times he gets up to bat. But it only takes one home run to spell the difference in the game. So, no, agents and editors are not stupid, despite what some aspiring writers would like to think. That little "masterpiece" you have sitting on your computer desk might be the next Harry Potter, but what the agent is saying is that the piece isn't right for him. End of story.

So what's an impatient, anxious, hopeful aspiring writer to do amid all that rejection? Well, the first response is "Gut up or Give up!" A writer faced with rejection must decide if he's willing to fight through the rejection and carry on. Give up completely or keep submitting to other agents and editors? Nathan Bransford can't answer that question for an aspiring writer. Curtis Brown (God rest his soul) can't answer that question for an aspiring writer. That must come from your heart. Do you wake up, go through your day, and go to bed at night with writing as your singular focus? If so, you're a writer. If you give up, you're a has been before you are an "ever was."

The Agent Theory

Here's where we depart from what's been discussed and get to the reason why this article was written to begin with. Agents and editors are lucky. They have the luxury of going with their guts. Going with their first instincts serves them well -- well enough they don't starve at least.
Writers don't have this luxury. Our gut is to write. Agents collect a paycheck everyday. They sit in an office, read queries, submissions and e-mails from industry insiders. They take phone calls, make phone calls, do "lunch" and negotiate movie deals or what have you. They work hard, no doubt. But at the end of the day, they have a guaranteed income. They can afford to go with their gut. They get paid regardless. Writers must never go with their gut. To do so is death to a writer's career. To go with one's "first instinct" is to eliminate the entire revision process. To simply pen a basic query and put no thought into it, no heart. Imagine if we were to read the first draft of Stephen King's "The Stand." It was probably a 300 page semi-organized story in usual need of clean up, structure and tone. Seven drafts later, (or 100 drafts... who knows?) we are graced with what is hailed as one of his best pieces ever! His first instincts didn't work, period. The way he told the story was a framework, but he had to go back, cogitate, contemplate, add, take away, revise, revise, revise...

Imagine if I sat at my computer pounding out a story's first draft and sent that to an editor or agent. I'd be the laughing stock of the publishing world! (Me and 3,000 other writers who actually DO this each day!) I don't do this, however. I sit. I take weeks, months, even years crafting my stories, amid family crises, personal health issues and major world events. I pour my heart and soul onto the 85,000 word manuscript. I interrupt family time, battle through sicknesses, cancel vacations and lose endless sleep as I work to make this story the best that it can be. I obsess over the query. I make as many drafts of my query letter as I do my novel, it seems. I send both letter and manuscript to friend and fellow writer alike, asking for assistance with making it as good as it can be.

And then I am rejected in five minutes by a very hard working, congenial, gut-led experienced agent, batting about .300 in the agenting world. And apparently I'm supposed to see the scales as balanced. It's not bitterness I express when I say that I don't see it thus. It's logic, I suppose. Logic of a person led not by his gut, but by something about six inches higher -- my heart.
And it leaves me wondering, how is a heart-led person supposed to convince a gut-led person that passion and teamwork leads to lasting success. We're speaking different languages. How am I to convince a person whose heart is out of the equation that my passion, devotion, desire and ability are several of the key elements it takes for a literary partnership to thrive? All I have is my passion and ability. I don't have a crystal ball into the future or a bankroll to guaranty his investment in me.

Agents and editors think with their guts. Writers think with their hearts. And it's only when the two find a way to communicate between the two that a connection is made. Those are great moments. It's that moment when writing does something truly magical. For it is in that moment -- the moment when guts and hearts are communicating in harmony -- that writing touches the deepest parts of a unified soul.

(Wow... that's cool. I need to write that down!)

Till next time, this article is brought to you by the aspiring letters W, E and H and by their partner in crime, number 2

Friday, March 30, 2007

Random things I am reasonably sure I think

No wonder my life isn't all ducks and roses. I didn't stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

I drove by a Motel 6 the other day. None of the lights were on.

Supposedly I can have my Whopper my way. Can I get it without all the unhealthy transfats but still with all the cheesy goodness that comes with a good, sloppy, grease-ridden burger?

I know adults who can recite the Big Mac song backwards and forwards but can't say the Pledge of Allegiance, the Preamble to the Constitution, don't know the 10 commandments and truly believe the words "separation of church and state" appear in the Constitution somewhere.

Anyone remember the little rubber martian toys that were in the McDonald's Happy Meals about 30 years ago? They were green, blue, yellow... Maybe a red one in there... I don't know, but they were so cool!

Weebles wobble but they don't fall down. This is true. Weebles are egg shaped. Weebles sit on thier butts and don't fall down. Eggs invariably fall on their side. I'm confused.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. But neither bird in the bush will bite you unless you stick your hand in there to try to grab one.

A penny saved is a penny earned. What the hell can you buy for a penny?

The army used to have a saying "Be all that you can be." Now it's "An army of one." I think they changed it the first time they took a look at some soldier being all he could be and they thought "that's it?"

In writing, we have a saying when talking about the best way to write a story. "Show don't tell." Imagine having that in grade school. I picture some nine year old standing perfectly silent holding a pet rock for five minutes before returning to his seat, much to the confused delight of his fellow classmates.

Early to bed, early to rise means the laundry gets piled up, the dishes don't get washed, the cat litter doesn't get scooped, the dog doesn't get walked, the child's homework doesn't get completed, bills don't get paid, but I'm well-rested when I have to return to the monotony of my deadend 9 to 5 job.

A few years ago, I realized the strangest thing. If I wait long enough without eating, hunger pangs go away on their own. Weird. I wonder how long you'd have to wait before they'd come back.

It takes pluto approximately 240 Earth years to travel around the sun. It's pretty far away. Sound travels quite a bit slower than light. So I wonder how long it's going to take Plutonians to discover they've lost their status as the ninth planet. I'm guessing they have an abundance of PLUTONIUM up there on PLUTO. What if they nuke us in anger? Ah, I guess it won't matter. I'll be dead and my great great great great great great grandchildren will have to figure out why some odd nuclear object is on a collision course with earth, bearing a plutonian inscription that says "Oh yeah!? Bite me, Earth Scum!" on it. (one of my fellow writer friends is going to write that story now!)

Pluto is cold. Could they even get a rocket to launch? Wait. Cold Fusion. Crap! Little Eddie the ninth is gonna die, man!

This little exercise has made me laugh. I don't know about you, but I've enjoyed it.

W, E and H thank you for your participation, as does the number 2.

Monday, March 26, 2007

Paris, Texas wrap-up! Short but to the point

So, the first tandem book signing of Samantha Branham and Edward Hancock II is in the bag. I must say that both Sam and I were quite surprised by the turnout. The event was really enjoyable and if you're ever shopping at the Hasting's in Paris, Texas, let me just recommend the nearby Burger King to sooth the savage hunger inside. Perhaps the highlight of my evening was watching Sam's reaction to the unexpected jalapenos on her burger.

It was a great night and I couldn't have asked for better company in Sam and Lee, her husband to be. I'm looking very forward to once again rockin' the house as Sam and I invade Mt. Pleasant next weekend! If you weren't able to make it to Paris, don't miss this opportunity to say hello and get your hands on signed copies of The Tempest's Child or In The Breath of God.

I'm officially putting out a challenge to the folks in Mt. Pleasant. I want to see how fast Sam and I can sell out of our books. Think you can sell out in under two hours? What about one hour?

Let's see if the fans of Samantha Branham and Edward Hancock II have what it takes to really rock Hasting's in Mt. Pleasant!

And to the folks that are coming to the Longview book signing in May, rest assured I'm putting out the same challenge to you as well! Let's see which town really loves Samantha Branham and Edward Hancock II the most!

Or yanno, you could just let Paris, Texas beat you both… (Though there are Whataburger's near both Hasting's in Longview and Mt. Pleasant so... well... yeah. Points in your favor already!)
Till that time, this blog is brought to you by the letters W, E and H and by the number 2 with support from the letters S, A and B, with the B soon to be changed to a T, but that's neither here nor there.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

General Peter Pace Speaks His Mind!

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/03/13/gays.military/index.html

The above link takes you to a story about General Peter Pace. Apparently, he made some comments that have pissed off homosexuals and their liberal well-meaning (if misinformed) sympathizers. I realize everybody has a right to his opinion, but what these liberal pissants seem to forget is that "everybody" includes General Pace. If anything, he's got more of a right to an opinion on this issue than the average joe who's never so much as held an army boot, much less donned one! Just as my opinion on disability issues holds more weight because of my experience, his experience as a military man gives more credit to any issue dealing with the military, whether directly or indirectly. You can agree or disagree with that all day long but it's a reality. Might be fact, might be my opinion, but it is still a reality. Experience entitles us to certain things. Motherhood entitles a woman more rights on the abortion issue than a man. Disability entitles me to voice my opinion over an able-bodied person and General Peter Pace's service to this country entitles him to form whatever opinion on gays in the military he so desires!

Okay this man is a general. He's fought and bled and risked life and limb for the concept of Freedom of Speech. If anybody in the free world known as AMERICA has a right to his opinion, it is General Peter Pace.

How DARE these liberal idiots demand anything resembling an apology from this man! Who do they think they are? Maybe if they stopped and thought about what he was saying and the experience from which his opinion stems, they might come to respect it more if not agree with it.

All these idiots who want to breed an oversensitive naivety into society need to shut up, plain and simple. That or get some of their own life experience. The 80 percent of us with common sense are really tired of hearing all the whining and the ignorant, uninformed, unresearched, data-lacking supposed "statistics" that they like to quote. I hate to even say it but it's stemming largely from my generation and the 20-somethings that are coming up right behind us. That sickens me to say the least.

Facts are facts. This country is a Christian nation. It doesn't mean that the 20 percent of you who aren't Christian can't speak up. You can. But the 80 percent of us that adhere to Judeo-Christian moral code of ethics do not have to bow to your every whim and fancy. You are not the leaders of this country. You are not the sole voice. Heck you're not even the majority! For every one of you that support homosexuality, there are 4 of us that recognize it for what it is, an abomination. You are not in line with the thinking of our Forefathers and founders such as Ben Franklin or George Washington. Yes, you might mean well and it's good to remind the more radical among us that God does not, in fact, "hate fags" as some overzealous faux religious people might contend. (Those idiots need to shut up themselves, but that's a story for another time.) The fact is that God hates sin and homosexuality is just as much a sin as lying or murder.

Of course, this is where you ask "to whom is it a sin? To the God you serve?" Yeah. to the God I serve along with 80 percent of the rest of the country. 4 out of 5 Americans serve this same God I do. If we assume there are approximately 300 million people in America, that means 240 million people think relatively in line with what I just said. Some might be weak in their ability to assert that belief, because of the loud attacks on our Christian principles by the 20 percent of you who are angered by our calls for morality, but the sentiment exists nonetheless.

This country was founded on Biblical principles. Not on the Quran, not on the Book of Mormon, Wiccan texts or Joe's Book of Religious Worship. And those principles include the assertion that homosexuality is an abomination. Your own liberal medical minds have asserted that homosexuality is a medical issue. (for more on this, check out one of my earlier blogs.) Medical science, in its liberal attempts to legitimize homosexuality, has "discovered" that it's a chemical imbalance in the brain. The word imbalance implies an abnormality by its very inclusion in the explanation of homosexuality's root cause! So to say that homosexuals are abnormal is no less sensitive than saying they suffer from a chemical imbalance. they suffer from an abnormality in their brain chemicals that could be controlled by medication, much the way symptoms of Parkinson's or Schizophrenia are controlled by medication.

So when General Peter Pace steps up to say he would rather not serve with homosexuals, it's akin to saying he'd rather not serve with anyone of an abnormal brain function. Anyone with Parkinsons, Schizophrenia, dementia, short term memory lapses, murderous tendencies, a propensity for pedophilia or homosexuality. Since all of these are either triggered or exacerbated by a chemical imbalance in the brain, one is no different from the other.

It's real simple. Just ask yourself these question: Would you want to put your life in the hands of a guy who is more interested in eating an imaginary pink dog than in defending the foxhole you two are pinned in? Would you really want to put your life in the hands of someone who can't stop hand tremors long enough to properly aim his weapon? Would you be willing to put your life at stake just to give me a chance to fight alongside you in my wheelchair? Are you really saying you are willing to make an orphan out of your child just to be able to fight alongside a person more interested in raping a 9 year old Iraqi than actually accomplishing a mission?

They say there are no atheists in foxholes. Honestly I think that statement is losing a lot of truth in recent years, but I do believe that many a soldier has "found God" amid the scream and holler of thousands of bullets and mortar rounds and I wonder how many of them would go back and put their eternal salvation in the hands of a sinner. (Yes I know we all sin...yadda yadda yadda. Please don't get me started on that argument.)

General Peter Pace did nothing but express the opinion of 80 percent of the country he serves. Just because the 20 percent gets pissed off by his assertion doesn't make General Pace's opinion suddenly invalid. Quite the contrary, it means they need to stand back, take a look at where his opinion stems and see where they might be able to find fault in their own code of morality. Maybe they won't find such fault. This is, after all, America. The 20 percent is going to exist, whether they exist as 25 percent, 20 percent, 15 or 17.9 percent. There will always be a disagreement. But at the end of the day I'm fine with that not because this is America. I'm fine with that because I know that God will not be able to save everybody. Unfortunately, just as there's plenty of room in Heaven for the Saved, there's an abundance of room in Hell for those who decide they wish to stay Lost.

God gives us all a chance to accept Him, through His son, Jesus. But sadly He also supplied us with free will which gives everyone the opportunity to look at what God's offering and say "no thanks."

You have that right. You have the right to say "no thanks." You have the right to serve whatever deity you wish or to refrain from any sort of recognition thereof. However, you do not have the right to deny me (Or General Peter Pace) our recognition of our own Supreme Lord and Master. General Peter Pace did nothing wrong in voicing his opinions as they relate to homosexuality and if you feel that he did, you are wrong.

The media is very strong. They are very loud and they are very determined to make it uncomfortable to serve God in this country. I, for one, am not willing to let that happen. I am not willing that anyone should be lost. God is the answer and Jesus is The Way. I'm sorry if that offends you but look on the bright side. In saying that, I gave you a chance to say "no thanks."

Till Next time this blog is brought to you by the letters W, E and H and by the number 2, all of which happen to be "Down with G-O-D!"

Thursday, March 1, 2007

The Holy Trinity Explained...(Well, not really)

"Father, Son and Holy Spirit... "

If you've grown up in or around any Christian religion you've heard those words spoken at least once in your life. If you're like me, you're often confused by this vision and no amount of explanation can really help a person to truly understand exactly what comprises this Holy Trinity. For me, it's become somewhat easier to understand this concept, as I researched biblical topics that ultimately shaped my book, In The Breath of God. While this wasn't my intent, I can honestly say I managed to develop a much deeper relationship with my savior through the very secular process of researching for this very secular suspense book. In that deepening relationship, I came upon a revelation that has helped me better understand the true nature of the Holy Trinity in my own finite human mind. Is it accurate? I don't know. To claim such would be blasphemous in my mind. It would be to claim I know the mind of God or, worse, to claim that I am God (or better than Him.) As neither would be true, I will stop short of saying that I am offering truth.

What I am offering is opinion plain and simple. But it is an opinion about which I feel very passionate. It is an opinion I feel carries with it much weight and much intense study, speculation and scrutiny. At no time am I trying to convince people that I am right. I am a finite human who is struggling to find the words to articulate an infinite concept to other finite beings. Under the weight of this daunting task, I must say I'm finding it very difficult to find the courage to carry onward. Still, it's been on my mind for some time now. I've prayed about it and I've reached the realization that God wants me to share this opinion. Perhaps He wants others to know the truth. Perhaps He wants others to read my thoughts and help me shape this idea and discover what the truth really is. Maybe he just wants me to put this out there so that the world can tell me what a complete blithering idiot I am and we can all move forward, each wiser in his own way. Whatever the case, here's my theory.

When I was a kid, I basically thought of the trinity as three separate beings. God was The Father. This was being number one. Just as my dad exists independent of me -- and I of him -- God existed (in my childish mind) separately from his son, Jesus Christ. As for the Holy Spirit? The best way I could explain this to myself as a child was that this guy was kind of like my dad's twin brother, Mike. That weird uncle nobody really understands but everybody knows is there. (Keep in mind I was a kid trying to figure God out. I wasn't trying to be disrespectful.) In my mind, it was the only way it could be. They were three beings. How else can they exist?

Then I got older. I took biology classes, anatomy classes, health classes, math classes, you name it. I took writing classes and even religion and philosophy classes. Above all, I merely took LIFE classes. That is to say I observed things. I talked to people. I watched certain preachers and I read my Bible, all in an attempt to really know God better. At times I discovered a golden nugget I had not possessed before. At other times, I went spiritually bankrupt, unable to find some unimportant detail that was probably right in front of my face the whole time. It's safe to say that God and I have had our ups and downs.

In the end, it did not come slowly, through research, study or life lessons. It came in a moment of unexpected, unplanned inspiration. It came as a culmination of everything, but manifested in one quick eureka moment that was as powerful as a bolt of lightning from Heaven itself. I've worked with it, sat with it, contemplated it, shaped it and labored to make sense of it for as long as I'm physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually able. The time has come for me to reveal my thoughts to you, my readers, and risk the judgment, disagreement and possible ridicule you may feel lead to lay at my feet.

First let's start with God. God the Father. God is THE Creator. He is THE essence from which all life springs. He is not only the Creator, but in a very real sense he IS the creation in living form. He breathed life into Adam according to The Word. Hence the creation and Creator became One.
This brings us to The Son, Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ was man. He was made flesh. When I think of Jesus, I think first of the fact he was made man. He then died like any other man and what happened? His SOUL rose again. See, in making him HUMAN, we often forget that he had not only a SPIRIT inside him but a SOUL just like every other human creature. His soul rose from the grave, fought Satan in Hell and ultimately joined with The Father in Heaven, to sit at his right side. But again, in death, Jesus Christ RETURNED to The Father and became One with Him. Two creatures essentially becoming one.

From the father comes the son but they are linked because the father gives life to the son. In humans, this is seen through DNA and genetic code. Half of who I am, I owe to my dear old daddy. We all know that story. Sperm Cell + Egg = Eddie. It's the same equation for you, really. Sperm Cell + Egg = (Insert your name here.) On a much more SUPERNATURAL plane, the equation went a bit more like this: God's spirit + Mary's womb = Jesus Christ. Either way it took both a mother and father for Jesus to be born. From a scientific standpoint, I would have loved to have some of Jesus' DNA so we could see how closely it matched Mary's. My theory on this is wherever there are differences in Jesus' DNA and Mary's you would essentially be looking at the DNA of God Almighty! Isn't that an interesting tangent for my mind to wander onto?
So, let's now consider the Holy Spirit. That's a bit more complicated to explain, because I'm starting to see this as more of a concept than an actual person so to speak. (Though that's not entirely accurate as to how I see it either. Stick with me.)

The holy spirit is, in a sense, God's spirit. It is the spirit that dwells within all mankind, including Jesus Christ, and compels him toward a certain course of action. it is the spirit that, when heeded, ultimately saves you from sin and guaranties your entrance into heaven. It is God's voice. It is God's breath of life. The same breath he first breathed into Adam all those years ago. The same spirit that dwelled within Jesus Christ's finite human body. The difference between JESUS and us is that Jesus possessed God's DNA and originated FROM God's spirit, whereas I think we possess our earthly parents DNA and are so many generations' removed from God's breath that we have lost the connection we once had with this magnificent power. (That whole 6 degrees of separation thing.) Jesus was one step removed from God, The Father. There was a direct link, an intimate connection. In us, there's so much genetics, biology and what not that we've lost that connection first given to Adam. God didn't come down and impregnate each of our virgin mothers. (Though I'm firmly of the opinion my mother is a virgin, despite giving birth to two children, and don't bother arguing with me on this because the alternative is just plain oogey!)

So what do we have at the end of the day? First we have God, The Father, from which all things stem. Second, you have Jesus Christ, The Son, in whom God entrusted his spirit to dwell WITHIN the soul of the finite human shell of His Infinite Son. (Make sense there?) Then we have the Holy Spirit, which is best described as our conscience. It is the spirit that teaches us right from wrong and gives us a sense of guilt when we do wrong. It is the spirit that compels us to love one another and do right unto our fellow man. It is a very powerful force that, when heeded, grants us a return ticket to God The Father.

So, if we are granted a RETURN ticket, doesn't that wash out my argument that DNA and all that stuff separates us from God more than it did Jesus? No. Because of one very simple fact. We were not born of a virgin. Like Jesus we possess a soul and we also have the Holy Spirit within us to GUIDE us. But God created us through "natural, human" means. He created Jesus in a very supernatural way and therein lies the difference.

Our soul is what returns to God. Our Spirit IS a part of God. In each of us, God plants a tiny part of himself, entrusting us to nurture it and, hopefully, help it grow and develop into something that will glorify the giver of this most special gift. God can not MAKE us cherish this gift anymore than He can MAKE us cherish the sacrifice His son made on the cross, but it's worth it to try.

So I'm not sure if that makes sense to anyone. Again, I'm not even sure how accurate it is. I just know that it's how I saw it and felt such a strong weight under this realization that I finally had to relent. I finally had to admit that something about this train of thought was important. Something herein needed to be verbalized. Even as I wrap this up, I have felt a tremendous weight lift from me. And I know that even if my theory on this wasn't entirely accurate, so begins another journey of discovery between God and me. I pray that this one is fruitful. I pray that God truly reveals Himself to me and, maybe, to anyone else who has ever pondered the things discussed herein.

Until that time, this blog is brought to you by the letters W, E and H and by the number 2.

Monday, February 26, 2007

I miss....

Recently, I've been riddled with a large sense of what can only be described as grief. I get this way sometimes. It probably means I'm about to really get hot and heavy into some writing project. Usually, just before I start "writing again" I suffer with a horrible bout of depression. This is more than just a "funk" though it can start out this way. Often times it manifests into something quite larger and much more (for lack of a better word) sinister.

This particular bout with depression has been all about the things/people/special someones I miss. Perhaps they've been gone from my life for a while. Perhaps not. The point is that there have been a number of people on my mind recently and I finally decided the only way I'm going to shake it is to blog about it.

March 1st marks six months since Amelia was hit by a car. I can honestly say I haven't felt this kind of grief over the loss of what some would call a "pet" since my mother's English Bulldog, Maggie, died. Amelia had so much personality. I'm an animal lover. I love dogs, adore cats. There was something special about her. Some mysterious connection that brought meaning into our lives. Her loss sent shockwaves through the small microcosm that is my family. Even today, the house has an emptiness that no doubt is traced to Amelia's absence. I'm here, Kelly's here. My son is here. J.J, Buddy and Sassy are here. We're all here and we love one another. But we're not complete. One of our own is gone and six months after the fact it's just as devastating as it was the day it happened.

My son and I were in Longview recently. We stopped by Petco because they have pets available for adoption every other weekend. We like to look -- have always enjoyed petting them -- though we have always known our home is too small to welcome another family member into its walls.

Even writing that, it feels so silly. We have a vacancy, that's for sure. No animal has come to live with us since Amelia's death. So to say our home is too small is, I guess you could say, an outright lie. But is it really? They say home is where the heart is and I know I speak for all of us when I say our hearts are still clinging to Amelia. She's not here but she's as much a member of the family as Maggie still is to me. (Mom handled her grief slightly different however. When Maggie died, she bought another English Bulldog, Abby. Eventually, she purchased Bo as well. Neither has been able to quell the grief she still feels some 6 years after Maggie's death.) At some point I have to learn to let another one be that special to me. As much as I love the Buddy Bear, he's not Amelia. For all their quirks and funny moments, neither J.J. nor Sassy have her affectionate demeanor or sense of empathy mixed with her conditional feline adoration. I miss you, Amelia. And I'm quite sure I always will.

I know it's weird to say but I've been thinking back to 1993 and 1995 when my Uncle Bill and grandfather died. Uncle Bill's passing was so sudden. He was ripped from the world unexpectedly, shortly after heart surgery that had left him quite incapacitated. One day he was there -- though admittedly different than he'd been prior to surgery. He was THERE and that was what mattered. The next moment, he was gone. With my grandfather, it was long and drawn out. He had a heart attack and lingered for months, slowly wasting away to a shell of his former self. Helplessly, I watched as my namesake lost his will to live, eventually dying both literally and figuratively of a broken heart.

Neither man bore witness to the day I wed my first wife. Mercifully, both men were spared having to comfort me the day that marriage ended under such horrid circumstances. They haven't been there to see the trials, tragedies and triumphs that have shaped my life over the past decade plus. I wonder if I would have become a different kind of man under the watchful eye of Uncle Bill and my grandfather. With Uncle Bill's unshakeable positive attitude, indelible courage and boundless faith, would I have walked the path of lesser resistence that I occasionally took in life? If exposed to my grandfather's sense of adventure and his propensity to laugh at risks, would my fears have been more easily surmounted? I don't know, but I know that I carry them with me as much as I can. Many christians ask "what would jesus do?" in certain situations, and admittedly I ask that as well. However, I often times find myself asking what these other great "missing" influences in my life would do. And if I listen hard enough, sometimes I think I can hear the answer.

I also miss my friend Tara. I don't know why, but she has been on my mind quite frequently as of late. She came to me several months ago with a problem she felt was in need of my assistance. The problem is that Tara forgot who she was asking when she asked for advice. I love Tara to death. She will always own a piece of my heart. Some part of me will always belong to that very dear friend. But at the end of the day, I am who I am and I can't change that. Tara was depressed. What she wanted, I think, was for me to say what she wanted to hear. She wanted to play both sides of the conversation. She essentially wanted to be the script writer of how the little drama was to play out.

"Okay I'm going to tell you I have this problem and you are going to reply thusly..."

I'm not able to do that. When somebody comes to me with advice, I have to give them advice I feel they need to hear. I try to temper it with love. After all, any advice I GIVE is out of love. Out of genuine concern. I admit ignorance when it applies. I admit lack of experience when it exists. I advise people quite openly to consider my opinion as what it is. One person's thoughts, carrying no more or less weight than any other person you might ask.

Tara chose to see judgement where none existed. In the end, I couldn't stop her exit from my life. I couldn't because I chose not to compromise who I was. To do so would have meant our friendship would've been built on a lie from that point on and I love and care for my friends too much to have our relationships built on a lie.

And so it is I "watched" as one of my dear friends walked out of my life. Is it forever? I suppose we can never be sure. Many have walked away only to come back days later. Several have walked away only to realize, months down the road, how valuable my friendship can be. Occasionally years go by and people go through some horrible event or some profound moment and realize that I am not there serving whatever purpose it was I served in their life.

And occasionally they walk away for good...Whether or not they miss me, I can not say.

What I can say is that each person (pet or human) that has left my life has taken with them a piece of my heart that I can never replace. Often, I find myself wondering if this is what killed my grandfather. Earlier, I said he died of a broken heart. Maybe he didn't Maybe he died because people who left his life took with them small chunks of his heart and he only expired when the last piece proved too weak to do the work of all the missing pieces. Perhaps it is grief that killed my grandfather. Perhaps even the grief that his grandson and namesake did not visit him even once during his last 2 weeks on earth.

Want to hear the weirdest part? I've been missing people that are in my life. Missing people I "talk to" on myspace or e-mail or even on the telephone but haven't seen in a month of sundays. The more I think about loss or the more I contemplate time and how it gets away from me, the more I realize how important it is to remind those who have chosen to continue life's journey with me how very much I love and appreciate them.

You never know...

It's so very true. You never know what tomorrow will bring. It may bring the death of your best four-legged friend. It may bring the phone call that your favorite Uncle was found dead at the corner. Or it may bring a relationship-severing fight with one of your very best friends.
Tomorrow may bring your own death in a car wreck. Tomorrow may see your best friend killed on the battlefield of Iraq. Tomorrow may mean your mother is shot during a botched bank robbery.

None of us are guaranteed tomorrow and for that reason, I really want to encourage everyone to live your life to the fullest. Life's too short to spend it pissed off. Love the ones you should. And TELL them you love them. But don't just tell them.... SHOW them. Because once they're gone, life doesn't give many second chances to say goodbye.

Till next time this blog is brought to you by the manic letters W, E and H and by the depressive number 2.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

SNURP!!!

I'm one of those people about which you are going to have a strong opinion. You're either going to love me or you're going to hate me, plain and simple. Now that opinion might change daily, but generally you're either GOING to love me or you're GOING to hate me. Okay so there may be days that you're just kinda "ehhh..." about me, but as a general rule, those that love me, do so very deeply. Likewise, those whose passions burn with fury and rage do so at very high temperatures. Why is this important? Well, because it dictates who reads and ultimately enjoys my randomness.

I am who I am and I've never been one to make apologies for that. Love me or hate me but you better make damn sure you feel something, otherwise I'll see to it that you do!
I'm the type of guy who actually tries to lick his elbow eventhough the message board forward clearly states you can not. (By the way, I can not lick my own elbow.)

I'm also the type of guy who often says the first thing that comes to his mind... and the weirder it is, the better. This is the major reason people either love me or hate me. I'm totally random. I'm just as prone to shout "I've got a lime!" in the middle of a library as I am to fall out of my wheelchair in the middle of the Longview Mall and fake a seizure just to get attention. I'm as likely to sit and ponder who invented the little plastic thing on the end of shoestrings as I am to ponder what would happen if a person managed to sneeze and burp at the same time.
That last one has actually been a quandry for some time, actually. I call it the Snurp Principle. A burp/sneeze attempting to exit your body at the same time. Of course, I have also pondered what would happen if a person hiccuped and sneezed at the same time but we're not talking about the sniccup. For the moment at least, we're talking about the SNURP.

Why are we talking about the snurp? Mostly because I finally answered the question that has been bothering me since I was early in my teenage years. What happens when you sneeze and burp at the same time? Well, to find out, the first thing you need to do is eat something like chili. Something guaranteed to make you burp. It also helps if you're a part of a family that has been passing around the flu bug and other "sniffly" germs for weeks now. (Taking notes I hope!)
The next part of this plan may or may not be optional. To be honest, I'm not sure. But it happened to me when I was laying on the floor playing UNO with my son and his mother. Somewhere in the middle of our third and final game (which lasted nearly 2 hours by itself... nothing like a marathon UNO game to really make One's back tired!) I rolled onto my side to kind of stretch my tired back muscles. About that time I got a major tickle in my nose... Ahhhh here it comes! I was going to sneeze! There was no time to stop it!

Oddly, the motion of rolling from my stomach onto my side (and nearly on to my back if I'm being totally accurate) had released some sort of trapped gas bubble up into my esophagus. (And yes, for the record I'm glad the gas was released northward instead of southward!)
So, long story short, the Snurp Principle was solved in a moment of shock and awe! I'm not sure who was more surprised, me or my son but I'm reasonably sure KELLY was the most repulsed.
So what happens when you burp and sneeze at the same time? Well, a whole lot really. First, it makes the sneeze actually feel less explosive. Second, it burns the holy dog mess out of your throat... but admittedly that could've just been the chili. But third, and perhaps most importantly, what I have learned is that snurps REAAAAAAAAAAALLY freak black tailless, half-cocker spanials/half (we think) beagles out of a sound sleep quicker than his food bowl being re-filled!

Well I guess I can scratch one random piece of useless knowledge off my "to be acquired" list. Now if I can just solve the SNICCUP PRINCIPLE I'll be set! Think I'll wait a little bit though. I don't think my body can handle another all night UNO party!

Till next time, this blog is brought to you by the gassy letters W, E and H and the still amused by the randomness of the number 2.